The Romantic American "Psycho": You's Complex Storytelling 

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45 pages of script. FORTY FIVE.
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sources were too long to fit in the description, so you can find them all here!
→ docs.google.com/document/d/1K...
cute icons for the submission section created by dariia on adobe stock images!
Scenepacks used:
Joker Scenepack by Maddie
Joe Goldberg Being a Psychopath in You Season 2 by Valerie
“You” Opening Scene by Paul Chapel
Joe and Beck Scenes| You by sourc
You - Ep 9- Beck Finds the Box by Movie Dude
hot joe goldberg season 3 logoless scenepack by scenepacks
YOU S3 - Joe Kills Ryan [3x09] by Adam Stephens
You Season 1 | Joe Kills Benji by Movies &series
YOU: Season 1 | Joe Finds out about Dr. Nicky and Beck by Hey Folks!
You 2x01 - Joe Smashes Ellie’s Phone
Marienne Bellamy Scenepack and Beck and Joe Goldberg scenepack + megalink by obrienscenepacks
All love quinn scenes | you 3 logoless by scenesvr
Criminal Minds Group HD Scene Pack #9 by BzStudioos
One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest 1975 Best Scene by Telba Lego
Joker Commits His First Crime by Movie Box
The Saddest Parts of 13 Reasons Why Season 2 by Stormi Subs
Fatal Attraction, Misery, Single White Female, and Obsessed Scenes from MovieClips
Spencer Reid Scenepack by Tenley Eavan
Clip from Dancer in the Dark by docodine
Dancer in the Dark: Bjork - I’ve Seen it All by warrenclicky
Dancer in the Dark (No Musical Segments) by Ben Affleck

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3 Ara 2021




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Reminder: you can like HOW the character was written but not like the actual character. He’s a well written stalker and murderer.
@starstruck5547 2 yıl önce
I agree, also with books, like the Lord of the Flies, cause I hated the story, but I liked how the story was written, if that makes sense😅 (but did Piggy have to die tho🥺😭😭🖐🏾)
@rahbeeuh 2 yıl önce
Agreed! Like I really like how Klaus Mikaelson from The Originals is written but he's a killer; supernatural but no less a killer.
@@starstruck5547 No. Gracie piggy did notttt. That books gives me major PTSD but I love it so muchhhh 😭😭😭
@Sam-0827 2 yıl önce
100% it's interesting to see
@destaabigael9004 2 yıl önce
The problem is some of his behavior and specially his inner monologue Is kinda relatable?
@narutard403 2 yıl önce
You used to cause serious arguments between my boyfriend and I. I hated Joe and he hated Beck. Then I realized he can’t related to my fear and hatred of Joe because he’s a man. He doesn’t know the real fear of dating someone that likely can and will kill you. My worst fear in dating being abused and killed. His worst fear is being lied to and cheated on.
@GotoMaki4Micah 2 yıl önce
there is a obvious difference in safety between the 2 of them. he kinda sounds like a psycho if he thinks that is really the worst scenario, given the 2. it's like saying every man is a rapist so he could not possibly know or care the pain it brings to you
@justpeachy3234 2 yıl önce
Hopefully ex-boyfriend
@pissapocalypse 2 yıl önce
Neither of them are good people, but Joe is clearly the worse of the two. He's terrifying. Like yeah, beck cheated, but Joe killed multiple people. Does your boyfriend side with Joe or something? I hope not. Women's fear of being abused and killed in relationships is justified, and so is the fear of being cheated on, but one is definitely not the same as the other. He should be happy he doesn't have to fear for his life everytime he goes on a date with someone new.
@@justpeachy3234 Don’t be ignorant. This can be a good way for them to learn things. Some people genuinely don’t know things. Calm down
@narutard403 2 yıl önce
Hey didn’t know this got so many likes. My fiancé and I spoke seriously about it and he understands everything he was just short sighted in the moment.
@julphines 2 yıl önce
I actually really liked Beck because she was, in her words, such a mess. She's one of the most realistic women I've seen portrayed in media. And yeah, I found her annoying, I wouldn't be friends with her. But she's a fleshed out person, unlike so many other characters. I love in the last episode of season 1 when she screams "its my mess."
@HumbleDial Yıl önce
I despised Beck, but I saw myself in her so much more than any other female character in media. She was insincere and rude and raw. The more I know about her, the more I hate her because she is me.
@kg395 Yıl önce
@@HumbleDial honestly this, because all the traits I hated in Beck were traits that I had. It felt like there was no way to just "oh I wouldn't have done that" my way out of it because Beck is as human as the rest of us
@sydneeokiec 5 aylar önce
Totally agree. She was very real and full of normal flaws. Sometimes a bit annoying, but who isnt in real life? She still had lots of redeeming moments and qualities.
@beheadme8092 3 aylar önce
people say she deserved to be killed, but i totally disagree. was she a good person? not really, but shes a regular, messy woman in her 20s
@heathercalun4919 Aylar önce
Beck is just NORMAL. And people treat her like that's such a crime.
@wizzytalksalot 2 yıl önce
I don't even agree that Beck is a bad person: just disinterested and experiencing an unfulfilling relationship with man who doesn't care to actually know her.
@saltyseadog4719 Yıl önce
I thought he did get to
@piersnivans5983 Yıl önce
@@JP-et9hv was she even officially with Joe to "cheat" on him
@wizzytalksalot Yıl önce
@@JP-et9hv I don't think cheating is that bad no. I think abuse and neglect is much worse lol.
@wizzytalksalot Yıl önce
@TN I think I just disagree that the act of cheating does all if those things. Cheating can happen in the context of an emotionally abusive relationship or it can happen not I that context. I just don't think it by it self is that bad. 🤷🏿‍♀️
@Latency345 Yıl önce
@@JP-et9hv remember, Joe is an unreliable narrator. As far as I can see, they are a friends with benefit relationship. Not exclusive or romantic. As far as I can see, the relationship is intimate but not the intimacy you'll find in a committed couple but in a one night stand couple. So in this situation only Joe sees them as a thing.
@sideysophie 2 yıl önce
I love that Joe's actor understands completely the intersections of race, gender and ableism related to this topic. And is very vocal about it
@ccblack3983 2 yıl önce
Found it so interesting the way that Joe hated love for being "impulsive" with her kills. If you pay attention to the way they navigate the world Joe would kill to get what he wanted and Love killed to keep what she already had. To protect her brother from abuse, to keep her husband(s) from leaving her after she played super wife. Love is calculating like Joe but he never respected that about her because he saw her as a problem and not a person once he got to know her. She planted that wolfsbane months before she ever used it, and she had used it years before on her first husband. Hwr relationship with Joe feels like a fulfillment of the fantasy life she had desired with her first husband. She had been begging him for a baby, I wouldn't be surprised if she got pregnant on purpose to lock Joe down. Over season 2 we witnessed several sex scenes that she initiated that didn't involve protection. This woman is 30 something, she knew the deal. When she saw Joe for who he truly was, the glass cage, knocking teeth out of a dead woman's mouth, burying a body together... she chose him flaws and all, and he was disgusted by her "weakness" for it. She was a woman he didn't have to prove his value to, because she loved the parts of him he was disgusted by. She clings, he chases. But both act out of fear of being alone, but Joe doesn't realize he also fears being seen. (The stupid baseball cap is the cherry on top.) At least Love was brave (?) enough to bear witness to the truth of who she chose to partner and honor her commitment to a violent man... by becoming increasingly violent herself over the course of their relationship. She was right, they were perfect for each other.
@tacrewgirl 2 yıl önce
THIS THIS THIS. Joe kills to get wants and Love kills to keep what she has. I never thought of it this way, but so well said. This needs to be pinned at the top for all to see.
Bruh... well said!
@sin3358 Yıl önce
That's why I felt sad when she died. The ending was epic, I did love it. However, while I'm not really a fan of either of the two, I did like Love more than Joe, because while Love actually accepted Joe for who he was, Joe became the hypocrite that made me think "wow, YOU'RE allowed to kill for those you love but SHE is crazy when she does it? And didn't you put yourself in that situation? How foolish can you be?"
@seewhativescene Yıl önce
Joe, for his numerous crimes and faults - is the product of abuse that led to manslaughter, subsequent abandonment by mother, group home abuse, & foster abuse
@Inkpink2 Yıl önce
Couldn’t have said it better the women that hate Love suck and the guys that hate on her she’s her real self tbh she’s better than beck lmfao
@Chuuzus 2 yıl önce
watching Joe not being able to stand Love was the funniest thing because he was just as worse as her. he just couldn’t stand the fact that she was literally his female version
@trinaq 2 yıl önce
Indeed, it's actually darkly hilarious when the psychotic serial killer is repulsed by ANOTHER, worse serial killer! 😂
@tamiirae6636 2 yıl önce
And here I thought they were gonna be like a cool duo and oh was I wrong 🤣
@nathanjuste6778 2 yıl önce
i really cackled, like that was too funny 🤣
@patiotaiza 2 yıl önce
Exactly! He hates himself, of course he'd hate her. He hates love, of course he'd kill it/her.
@mm4843 2 yıl önce
I think you meant “as bad as her”
@m.donez8 2 yıl önce
I’m actually shocked that a lot of people didn’t like Marienne’s character?! I loved her from the first scene she was in.
@WhitneyDahlin 11 aylar önce
Ikr!! Her story is so tragic. I really liked her!
@ratatouille4381 8 aylar önce
its because she's black
@livinglouder7837 8 aylar önce
@@ratatouille4381 this. If she were white the general public would adore her character. It’s just blatant colorism imo
@kadeforshort 4 aylar önce
I loved her as well.
@gRinchY-op5vr 2 aylar önce
Partly thanks to Tati Gabrielle, I like her in most things 😊
It's fascinating how Joe continues to see himself as a hero when he's blatantly not. It's horrific.
@emilyau8023 Yıl önce
It's even more horrifying that there's actual men like that. You'll come across them in dating apps more often than not. Joe is a misogynistic arrogant delusional jerk with a savior complex disguised with a handsome face.
@stargirlabi_111 7 aylar önce
its limerence
@heyizz 3 aylar önce
I think it relates to the truth is that the scariest fact about the world is everyone see themselves as the main character and everyone sees themselves as the hero: no matter how dark and depraved their actions may be.
"No one is a villain in their own story"
@beatriceotter8718 2 yıl önce
On the criminalization of mental illness: here's a case that happened when I was in high school. There was a mentally ill person in our community who was homeless because they couldn't hold down a job and (ironically) their mental illness got in the way of navigating the welfare system to get on disability and a social worker to help them get the resources they needed to get housing, food, etc. So this person hung out downtown, and a lot of people got annoyed with them. But they couldn't figure out how to get them off the streets either into a group home or a mental hospital or whatnot, because those services are underfunded. So one day, this person went into a convenience store and started to get themselves a slushee. They were talking to themselves. The store owner called the cops. The cop came, harassed the mentally ill person, and the person threw the slushee at them. So the cop arrested them, and they were charged and convicted of theft (of the slushee, which they might have been planning to pay for) and assault (for throwing the slushee). Boom! That person is now a violent criminal! ... if you only look at the court records, instead of what actually happened. And this person was white, I shudder to think what might have happened if they'd been Black.
@deej5608 2 yıl önce
I shudder to think that too
@lastetaslocas69 Yıl önce
I grew up in the homeless community in my area because my parents battled drug addiction for most of my early life. In my experience about 80% of them have similar experiences to this. Another thing to consider is that in a way drug addiction is often similar to mental illness because it develops as a response to trauma that is often very difficult to cope with, and has similar and sometimes indistinguishable negative impacts on people's lives.
@wrazzberrie1197 Yıl önce
@@lastetaslocas69 Long term drug addiction can be as debilitating as sever mental illness. It's not just the fact that drug addiction is correlated with untreated mental illness, but drugs if done enough for a long enough will change the physical structure of the brain. This even happens with alcohol. Past a certain point, chronic drug use can result in symptoms similar to mental illness, if not outright give rise to them.
I am literally shuddering in my boots just thinking about it
@avaricewildman4083 11 aylar önce
Fam, the prison industrial complex swallows the mentally ill whole by the dozen. I had to pick up a friend after a drunk and disorderly, and saw a mentally ill person in the drunk tank. He clearly had no capacity to care for himself and was basically harassed by detainees and officers alike. I almost intervened, but remembered my black face and those blue suits and shiny badges and thought better of it.
@Miserycordya 2 yıl önce
i'm a cleaning lady, and anytime we leave business cards somewhere to attract clients, I make sure that they're the ones that have my cleaning partner's name and not mine. we get more calls/respect/better attitudes when the name on the card is "Allender" and not "Domingues". it's depressing.
@nomnoom8403 Yıl önce
Really unfortunate.
@cristalat101 2 yıl önce
As someone with BPD, I don't think Joe has it. He doesn't have the main symptoms, such as an unstable sense of self. All of the "BPD" things about him are his unstable behaviour toward his love interests, which could be explained as him just being gross.
@verdancyhime 2 yıl önce
Forty is probably the closest to a BPD person in the show, I think. He does a few bad things to people, like drugging Joe, but also he has the extremely soft boundaries, unstable sense of self, craves self destructive behaviors when he feels rejected or discouraged, etc. He also tends to attach himself to people and want to use them to help ground and stablize himself with those attachments to Love, but then starts to include Joe and Ellie. I have BPD and that's my opinion anyway.
@ulquiXgrimm 2 yıl önce
@@verdancyhime Forty definitely could be coded as someone with BPD.
@cristalat101 2 yıl önce
@@verdancyhime that's so true
@zaynahsultan514 Yıl önce
I think joe was a sociopath
@cristalat101 Yıl önce
@@zaynahsultan514 probably
@Zoe-re3uk 2 yıl önce
Can we just appreciate how Penn Badgley (Joe’s actor) just gets it?? Like sometimes the actors who play bad characters either don’t really understand it or play into the fans love for the character too much, but he knows exactly what he’s doing. He fully knows that his character is such a evil, complex villain that could very well exist in real life, and that there are many men that think the way he does, so he knows the responsibility he has in portraying Joe in the right way. Like ugh this man is so smart I love him💖
@Sam-0827 2 yıl önce
Yes, like he understands Joes psyche and also how that mindset of his character is further protected/motivated and somehow ignored by society. He understands how Joe gets away with the things he does and its very refreshing.
@olympia2252 2 yıl önce
He is such a good actor that whenever I see photos of him on social media I’m like, “he’s up to no good...” I understand that actors are not their characters, but he does such a good job at invoking these uneasy feelings that it takes me a moment to remind myself that (to our knowledge) he isn’t like that irl.
@lindaalma9988 2 yıl önce
If he was more himself, understanding his job, but this is better in real life! Just make a show about him lol 😆 but truth. He's a great actor and understood the assignment
@ratitude595 2 yıl önce
yes! and he regularly talks about misogyny culture and r*pe culture and seems to really understand it. he’s honestly such a good guy outside of the characters he plays
@Zoe-tg4dl 2 yıl önce
honestly i think he’s aware of the nuances surrounding the show since he’s spoken about them multiple times, but if anyone’s seen his music videos for his band and actually looked at the lyrics, i think he might resonate with the character more than we think
@stephaniesantos78 2 yıl önce
Penn Badgley is doing god's work for playing bad men (Joe, Dan in Gossip Girl) and then talking about how horrible they are
@annacastro2855 Yıl önce
I absolutely LOVE this author. The line where Joe says "my tragically ill girlfriend Guinevere Beck, I now see she had Borderline Personality Disorder" I cannot stressed how hard that made me laugh. It's so painfully ironic and accurate that I couldn't help but laugh! The amount of men who I've heard say their ex-girlfriends "(probably) had BPD" is just so telling. It largely affects women, and for some reason it is the one cluster B personality that mental health professionals refuse to touch (gee, wonder why that is...). BPD suffers endure a barrage of both mental health stigma, and sexism, and it's honestly very upsetting. Especially when perceived or real rejection is a huge trigger for them.
@Cayla2015 2 yıl önce
Joe put all of his romantic interests on a pedestal until he realized that they are imperfect. He's hypocritical because he's so imperfect that he can't ever be authentic in a relationship. When he met Love, she was finally a perfect match for him but it was too difficult because it was like looking in a mirror. They should have continued therapy alone, as neither of them opened up enough in couples therapy.
@Sara-to4qg 2 yıl önce
I mean, to be fair, they were never going to be able to completely open up since that would have ended up in both of them going to jail
@pissapocalypse 2 yıl önce
Where he needs to open up in is the therapy share circle they have in prison
@@Sara-to4qg technically no, a therapist is legally bound not to say anything (including murder) about their patient unless they have (written and signed) consent from the said patient or someone's life WILL be in danger.... you can tell your therapist that you killed someone just before you entered their office and they legally cannot and will not do anything because it has already passed. but if you tell them that you WILL kill someone, then they can step in and alert the authorities
@emilyau8023 Yıl önce
Love said it herself "a perfectly imperfect girl"
@@catherinetheegreat8742 Is this true?? Like are you a therapist cause this is genuinely interesting, I cant imagine having to just sit on that sort of information
@tcfs908 2 yıl önce
A friend saw this and sent it forward. It's surreal seeing your work cited and viewed by thousands of people. Thank you for talking about these issues and I look forward to seeing more.
@Shanspeare 2 yıl önce
It was an amazing source!! Thank you so much for putting so much work into it! ❤️
Finally started watching the series and I just want to say, I know the writers pride themselves on being able to incorporate the word " you" into almost every spoken line.
@madelinevlogs5898 2 yıl önce
I love how it shows that Joe doesn’t care about who the women he’s obsessed with actually are. His next stalking victim could be any woman who gives him attention and looks like she “needs saving”
@slylover123 2 yıl önce
Really? That's neat
@@slylover123 yes, I was very impressed when I started watching it, to see the word "you" being used in also every spoken dialogue Joe has
@quirkyblackenby Yıl önce
Well that’s how the book is written so it makes sense
@@quirkyblackenby that's how it's written? I may need to add it to my reading list
@sahasra3641 2 yıl önce
“are you… flirting with me?” *gags*
@kristineilochi4615 2 yıl önce
@vitamincrc8267 2 yıl önce
"i love men; i love jung hoseok" i cannot deny the fact i have said this *s a m e* sentence before (joking about your iconic one-liners aside thank you for putting so much time and energy into this video!!!! your channel is my favorite i am constantly sending your videos to my friends and being like !! look, listen, learn, (live laugh love??) anyways
@ghuleh969 Yıl önce
Someone said Jung Hoseok 👀👀
@misao7746 2 yıl önce
This actually explains a lot of things. Whenever I talk with my mother about rapists she says I should just dismiss it because they are mentally ill. I think that it is a culture at play that says that mentally ill people are villians and when someone did a crime but isn't mentally ill they either had a reason or there's more to it. But I think being mentally ill wont help much in the court anyways. Generally, people that are different are pushed or made out to be villians because theyre different and perhaps, but not dependant on that, will then be hurt. Take Toga Himiko, she turned out bad because of how she was hurt, she still is an exception and Im glad they showed that she had a reason behind her behaviour, but I think it's the same thing at play again.
@carterpoulsen7148 2 yıl önce
As a white cis male, I have noticed the differentiation and privilege given to me. I have also experienced people telling me not to identify with my Lebanese, Italian, and Syrian ancestry. I am a teenager and go to a private school and not only is the student population very obviously lacking in diversity but also the education unfairly teaches about the hardships that classic White men have gone through. One of the biggest problems with the continuing of this education (this form of education as a whole is problematic) that is fed to young privileged children is that they will never accept the reality of the truth. I love watching your videos in hopes to further my understanding of concepts and issues in order to hopefully further educate those in my circles.
@lavish_1717 Yıl önce
Since when did Lebanese and Syrian become white ? You’re a person of color.
@MEOWMIX3DS Yıl önce
@@lavish_1717 if theyre white, theyre white. thats just his ancestry.
@@lavish_1717 he probably looks white despite diverse ancestry.
@CaraRowen Yıl önce
You might turn out alright kid.
@kamora4425 Yıl önce
@@lavish_1717 if this guy lives in America then he is classified as white, for some reason America sees middle easterners as white people? It's weird.
@harryds8495 2 yıl önce
This is very long so be warned :) I was diagnosed as autistic this year and Aspergers Syndrome is my official diagnosis so I want to talk about the Reid/Gubler situation from my own perspective. I’m doing this mostly from memory so if there’s something I miss/get wrong feel free to reply and correct me. Aspergers is my official diagnosis because I’m Scottish and we have a different criteria to the USA. It’s important to note that way we define Autism has varied over time and does vary from country to country so some autistic people are attached to Aspergers as a label and others are not. The criteria for Aspergers for me was - this person meets the criteria for autism but didn’t have developmental ‘issues’ as a young child. I think it’s important here to say that what the allistic (non-autistic) people diagnosing me meant was that these developmental differences weren’t visible to them. That was the recurring theme of the diagnostic process - because I’m verbal and had good marks in exams Im only a ‘little bit autistic.’ There are various stigmas that an autistic person faces diagnosed or not but what I found before, during, and, after diagnosis was that people either didn’t believe I was autistic or belittled any difficulties I might have because I’m ‘high functioning.’ I’m autistic despite my official diagnosis. I’ll tell people that I’m autistic instead of saying I have Aspergers because it means that even if I’m treated like a child my support needs are taken seriously. Aspergers is an of the umbrella term of Autism. To have Aspergers is to be Autistic. The only differences between people who have Aspergers and autistic people is basically how ‘intelligent’ you are perceived to be and how well you are seen to ‘function’.’ Incase it isn’t clear dividing people by intelligence and function is ablest and the terms in this context are also ablest. For me, Aspergers as diagnostic label is incredibly reductive because Aspergers is equated with being high-functioning. The use of functioning labels hurts all autistic people because it divides us into who can and cannot be of use. It takes into account only what autistic traits can be observed by the very allistic medical professionals dealing with us. This means the understanding it provides is inaccurate. So from that standpoint Gubler saying Reid has Asperger’s syndrome and minor autism is how most of the professionals I have encountered would characterise me. This characterisation is hurtful. TW for ableism and murder Not sure if I’ve labelled the TW in the best way but this will touch on Nazi Germany related things. Hans Aspergers is the person who coined the term Aspergers. He essentially worked with autistic children in Nazi Germany and separated the ‘intelligent’ children who he said had Aspergers from the rest. Those who didn’t receive the label of Aspergers were referred by him to a clinic that was a centre for ‘child euthanasia.’ Here’s a source www.scientificamerican.com/article/the-truth-about-hans-aspergers-nazi-collusion/ Most autistic people do not like using Aspergers as label for themselves because of this. The way Reid is described by Gubler is not good. Not the most articulate way of saying it but I’m struggling to explain better. I’ve given my own experiences with the Aspergers label as well as it’s past to give an idea of what it means to be defined by the word Aspergers. I personally hate the term. A lot of the autistic people I know don’t reach out for help because they don’t feel they’re disabled enough. Aspergers as a term does nothing to help with that. Aside from its origins which are disgusting it just reeks of casual ableism. People tend to diminish the support needs of disabled people in general but when your labelled as ‘functioning’ your support needs are not treated as at all important. At this point, I should say that I have an incredible amount of privilege as an autistic person because I’m able to mask and can present as kind of neurotypical some of the time. This, however, doesn’t diminish what I can’t/struggle to do compared to the allistic people I know. Gubler’s way of talking about autism and Criminal Mind’s treatment of Reid really annoys me. I have always seen Reid as autistic but the way the show jokes about him being autistic really hurts. Gublers comments while not as bad as others (Benedict Cumberbatch saying that thinking of Sherlock as autistic is lazy and gives people going through it false hope) are frustrating. What, for me, this boils down to is how bad of term Aspergers is and how it can contribute to the ableism faced by autistic people. Sorry this is so long. Hope this makes sense and isn’t too jumbled.
@vamps_rock 2 yıl önce
Hi. I'm in England and a lot of what you've said really resonated with me as someone who is questioning the possibility of being on the spectrum (very late in life) and considering seeking a diagnosis. Your description of Aspergers/Autism is also what I have understood both of the terms to mean. Thank you for sharing this information.
@user-ot3ht6iu8l Yıl önce
I know I’m late to the party but thank you so much for taking the time to write this out so clearly and thoroughly. This is amazing information that I am going to pass on! :)
Okay but what is the alternative?? It's definitionally true, some autistic people are much higher functioning than other autistic people, it's a spectrum for a reason.
@@20somethingcimena They’re not, actually. I will give you an example. One autistic person is finishing their masters degree. Another cannot tie their shoes. Who is high, and who is low? Both people are me. Most autistic people have a mixture of strengths and weaknesses, the same as every other human. There was never a hard line separating “high” from “low”, and this frequently caused confusion, miscommunication, and inequity in care. The spectrum is more akin to ice cream flavors than the color spectrum (infrared to ultraviolet). Mint ice cream is not “more ice cream” than strawberry ice cream - they’re different flavors but we can agree they’re still ice cream. So rather than fighting over what’s “more ice cream” - who’s higher or lower - it’s better to just specify the flavor - where the specific difficulties lay.
@arby64 4 aylar önce
This is so well worded! Thank you! I was looking for someone who'd left a comment on this topic because I am busy at the time I'm watching this. I am also autistic and felt it was important to see this written out somewhere in the comments.
@kaylaumaler 2 yıl önce
Also, can we talk about how this show was able to be renewed for three more seasons after the first. Don’t get me wrong, I liked the show since it appeared on Lifetime, but Netflix is absolutely selective with the shows they deem worthy of renewing, and those they cancel after the 1st season…
@sleepysadpoet Yıl önce
I think it worked better on Netflix bc lifetime has a lot smaller viewer base.
Well yea they are selective based on how much money it makes, big shocker
@hollykent979 2 yıl önce
I think the choice to introduce Love as a mirror image of Joe was a brilliant choice by the writer(s). He hates Love even though him and Love have practically the same motivations. The fact is that Joe can’t stand the idea of a woman that would take action for herself. He considers her actions as less noble than his purely bc he expects that men should do all they can to ‘chase’ and ‘capture’ a woman while women should sit and wait instead of being violent, as Love is. That’s why he loved Beck, bc he could chase her all he wanted and she didn’t want to be caught and could be considered pure and angelic in comparison to Love’s inner violence and explosive emotions. Him and Love were probably perfect for each other in a terrible way if Joe wasn’t so completely self-righteous and entitled with a debilitating saviour complex. That’s my piece.
@poppagBallZ97 2 yıl önce
totally agree
@silentj624 2 yıl önce
@vallentinac9513 2 yıl önce
100% this
@MichiBell 2 yıl önce
I would also add that Love is a commentary character for those who are in love with serial killers. You know the ones that fan edit them with flower crowns and such on Tumblr? The ones who think they would somehow be exempt from the awful things the serial killer did if they met, just because of love. If they did everything right, they would love them, no matter what? Especially because people did romanticized Joe Goldberg online. I thought it was sorta the perfect commentary on that. Although, I do hope the people that romanticizes killers get the help they need. But yeah, those are my two cents.
@vallentinac9513 2 yıl önce
@@MichiBell I like this interpretation.
Joe is highly judgmental among his many traits. In the books he does not hold bag being smug and feeling superior to almost everyone he meets except his love obsessions. It’s part of his paternalistic, “I know best” inner dialogue that helps him rationalize stalking people to “protect” them.
@Lucas-jr3lq 2 yıl önce
"but that's the thing about not really caring much for the romance genre -- you find it in media you're not really looking for it in" took the words right out of my aromantic brain
@disneybunny45 2 yıl önce
Shania, I want to thank you for sharing your experience with bipolar disorder. My cousin's husband was bipolar, though I don't know what type. He killed himself after a particularly violent night about a year ago. He was a deeply flawed man, but I don't consider him a monster like some members of my family. He was a good man who struggled with mental illness. And I am sorry that you have struggled so much, I understand very well how hard depression is. But we are both strong women and we will make it through.
@jasminebaxtre 2 yıl önce
“And joe busts like a soda can in the freezer” 😭😭😭😭😭😭
@moonlight4665 2 yıl önce
I think one reason people have an easier time forgiving things like murder in fictional characters is that it's too "big concept". That is to say, it's not something most people have to deal with in their everyday lives (thankfully!). However, everyone has to deal with someone who they find annoying - siblings, co-workers, etc. - so it's easier to hate these traits in fictional characters as it's easier to relate to their own lives.
@nataliek2995 2 yıl önce
Actually Joker was a cinematic masterpiece and got my divorced parents to remarry and gave me 8 billion dollars so I can retire at the age of 16 😤😤😤😤
@snotdotcom 2 yıl önce
soooo true. it fixed my posture, got rid of my allergies, moisturized my dry skin, did my laundry, and bought me marina merch from 2012
@karl2624 2 yıl önce
Wait a damn minute
@Lumina_Solaris 4 aylar önce
As a person who has OCD, I can tell you that my room is rarely ever clean. I don't even put my clothes into drawers. My clothes live on my floor. What I actually do compulsively is far less glamorous. I peel the skin on my hands and feet, frequently to the point of bleeding. I frequently feel paranoid, and then i gaslight myself because I don't know if i feel this way because that's actually what's going on or if it's because I'm letting my own anxiety rule me and skew my perception of reality. I have intrusive thoughts, and for a while i thought i was a terrible person because i acted on one of those thoughts when i was a kid, because I didn't know how else to get rid of the thought. I would say that Joe's need to collect things for his box would match some of how OCD presents in me. I get the urge to collect certain things. I'm not going to say what, though I'm sure people will imagine things infinitely worse than reality. Still, admitting it feels deeply personal, because the shame of knowing that i shouldn't do it but allowed myself to do it anyway can be overwhelming, and that's deeply personal. However, my current compulsions don't hurt anyone but me. That's probably the case for most people with OCD.
I myself was quite surprised at how conflicted I felt while watching the series....I was total creeped out by Joe's psychopathic acts of stalking, murdering, impersonating and what not...and then there were these calm moments where he was being a "sweet" bf and his crazy deeds went to some corner of my mind while I just thought wow cute. XD Also in season 3 I love how Love is actually a mirror of Joe, just without his "oh so holy" filter. She is him but he time and again tries to distinguish himself as more reserved and thoughtful and better than her...calling her the moster when she is just the rawer, perhaps truer version of him and she is surprisingly honest and upfront about it unlike him.
@mistyknoxwall9051 4 aylar önce
Check out the trope “ambiguous disorder”. It addresses a lot of the stigmatizing issues of now giving a attributes to a characterization which are strongly tied to mental disorders and/or neurodivergence in the cultures mind to the role of a character while beating around the book and never confirming a diagnosis for them. It’s a double edged sword, but is an issue in that it can then lead to actual symptoms of mental illness being handled in these portrayals without delicacy or grace deserved to them. See Sheldon in the Big Bang theory- a lot of his quirks are laughed at for being ridiculous and such an annoyance to the rest of the cast; however these quirks are strongly relatable to many asd audience members. If Sheldon was confirmed as being on the spectrum suddenly the jokes at the expense of his minds way of processing things would be unmasked as hurtful and would never pass. However without the diagnosis the symptoms being mocked shared by those who are on the autistic spectrum are still being stigmatized and made fun of. Your segment about You: A psychological study brought this up for me and it’s going along with what you were saying with more examples
@ArtieCarden 2 yıl önce
Have some issues with the term “able minded” has some nasty subtext. The term is neurotypical for anyone who doesn’t have a neurological ‘difference’, including mental illness, things like autism and ADHD, even traumatic brain injuries. Otherwise, love this video a lot I think it’s really cool and put a lot of info together cohesively.
@oz4648 Yıl önce
was curious what nasty subtext there is with able minded? context: I'm disabled and am genuinely curious-- never heard someone say that before. I always just thought it was the flipside to "able bodied".
@sarahanniswerid 2 yıl önce
Watching this while meticulously going through my hygiene routine after three days without a shower has been very comforting, validating, and cathartic. Thank you, Shane. You did an amazing job
@iSaraSeantae 2 yıl önce
I loved You immediately, but I never loved Joe. I loved You because, as someone who grew up in an abusive home terrorized by an abusive man (who has never truly been held accountable for his actions), I LOVED that the show was so adept at portraying the way toxic, abusive humans weasle their way into the lives of the people they abuse. Beck wasn't stupid: she was manipulated and gaslit and abused. Beck wasn't an evil person: she was human. And Joe isn't a boogeyman who only an idiot would fall prey to: Joe is a bad, bad man who chooses to hurt others and actively seeks to find the most effective ways to do it. It's so frustrating and honestly devastating to see people worshipping Joe and hating his victims (and those who survived him). It makes me, as a survivor, feel unsafe and unwelcome. Victims and survivors don't need to be anything, do anything, act any way, or fit any mold in order to be taken seriously, protected, respected, and given justice...but I guess the world isn't ready to accept that, yet 😕
@spookyho5994 2 yıl önce
I completely agree. A lot of people always want the “perfect victim” and so they’re very quick to victim blame or lose empathy for them when they don’t fit that box.
@anishinaabae 2 yıl önce
you've perfectly summarized why i've been hesitant to watch the show. it's exactly up my alley for the reasons you've described, but as someone who has also suffered domestic abuse, seeing some of the fan response to this show as well as hero worship of joe a la the joker (seriously y'all... wtf?) has made me likely to hold off watching it until it's finished and everyone has moved onto something else.
@peggy7744 2 yıl önce
I also loved You and never loved Joe. I was told about this show by a (male) colleague, whose description kind of made it sound like a black comedy which satirises rom-com tropes - which it is kinda, but it was way more thriller than I expected and maybe subsequently I immediately was totally grossed out by Joe and was rooting for Beck to get away. I've also been disturbed and off-put by the fan reaction to Beck and I think it's a really troubling symptom of the internalized misogyny that a lot of these young fans are coming up with. Honestly the real horror of this show is reddit.
@anishinaabae 2 yıl önce
@@peggy7744 the real horror of anything is reddit, to be sure!
@oiseaux2faut 2 yıl önce
@@peggy7744 pH ttu
@katies7158 2 yıl önce
I want to thank you for talking about how you've felt invalidated in your feelings by others because of a clinical diagnosis. I am neurodivergent and I often feel I'm nit allowed to express any frustration, anger, sadness, angst, excitement, or literally anything that isn't flat affect because it's always autisms fault I'm overreacting or some dumb shit.
@ambored24 2 yıl önce
I'm not even 20 minutes in, and I'm already gonna leave a comment just to say that I love this video so much lol. Thank you for putting the research and work into this. 👏👏👏👏❤️❤️
@Ninjacatmuffin 2 yıl önce
Now that I finished the video...I want to say that I appreciate you reaching out to others in the disability community to share their perspectives. I could relate to many of them, but the anon who commented that all aspects of her identity have been villainized in the media especially resonated with me. I know I've felt that for sure with my neurodivergence, my mental illnesses, my nonbinary status, and my romantic + sexual orientations. If they're not infantilized, they're ignored or treated as an 'other'
@luleilou 2 yıl önce
I clicked on this video to watch a commentary about one of my favourite show, and now that I have watched it all, I can say that I ended up learning so much, especially about the mental illnesses, thanks to the statements . I always really liked crime shows, like You or even documentaries, and now that I heard how mental illness is portrayed in these kind of shows, I really feel like I will watch them in a totally different way . As a cis straight white girl non-disabled, I learned a lot today, and the video itself was incredible, your way of talking, the words you chose were really cool , and as a french non english speaker, I learned a lot too, so thank you
I feel like growing up, we're all taught to feel bad for or pity disabled people- not for the world that isn't built to accommodate them, but for the bodies they were born with. But it just occurred to me that I wouldn't expect a Black person to hate being Black or assume they want to be white just because white supremacy and racism exist, instead i direct my anger towards the injustice they suffer. In that same way, we shouldn't expect disabled people to hate their disabled bodies or assume they wish they were able-bodied, instead we should direct that energy towards demanding spaces and representation that accommodate and include them. I don't know why I've never thought of it this way, but this video was en eye-opener. I'm definitely guilty in the past of ignorantly assuming disabled people wish they were able-bodied instead of assuming the more logical thought that they wish the world was a better place for them to live.
It’s Penn Badgley’s fault for being so gorgeous and having that sexy as hell voice. Best Netflix narration ever. Still don’t like Joe but I love how well written his character is.
@cyb3rstalker Yıl önce
That’s true. That plays such a huge part in why so many women “love” him and subconsciously find ways to justify and rationalize his sick and twisted behavior. I’m ashamed to say… I’m one of those women 😭
@pipipipurple 4 aylar önce
Thank you for pushing back against that portrayal of misophonia. Hearing that quote made me feel really really sick as someone who suffers from miso. The disorder is already underrepresented and not taken seriously- to see the one time its considered a real illness in media being used as the motivation for murder... its not good. For the record, misophonia is an extremely difficult disorder to live with because triggers are literally everywhere at all times, and you cant ask or expect most people to avoid triggering you because triggers tend to be simple harmless things that they cant (and shouldn't have to) stop doing. Its a disorder that is extremely isolating and exhausting. Its most common in people with autism or adhd, as well as the elderly and adolescent girls. Idk where im going with this, just.. its tougher than people think. Also if i killed someone for triggering my miso i wouldnt drill into their brain wtf? That doesnt even make sense. Id trap them in a giant piece of bubblegum or something because the gum was what triggered me. Smh. Clearly they didnt do research....
@bigsad7524 11 aylar önce
Also diagnosed bipolar after an episode. Loneliest thing I've even through. It was so healing to hear you understand it so profoundly, as much I'm so sorry you've been through it. I'm SO glad you're still with us too.
@rrrrssss156 2 yıl önce
ok but when you started talking about ableism and sanism i honestly started getting so excited. like i dont really hear people go into much depth about these things especially to the point of including multiple different experiences and opinions from disabled, neurodivergent, and/or mentally ill people. i just wanna say thank you because it made me happy.
@mellonnuggets838 2 yıl önce
I would also like to add, the demonization of trauma. I am someone with a whole host of trauma, especially childhood trauma, and seeing how people look at people with trauma honestly traumatised me more. It was like you had this plague, you were seen as dirty, shat upon, a responsibility, a burden, used, undesirable, difficult, etc. Sure, my trauma complicates basic situations, and makes me hesitant to form relationships or 'yield' myself to someone else, but I still want to have relationships. I want to have friends, good friends that know me, that know how best to relate with me. I don't want to hide my trauma and negative experiences because, more often than not, my trauma responses are misinterpreted for immature, irrational, and difficult, surprising behaviours, when if they knew about my trauma., they would understand why I acted or reacted in a particular way. also prior knowledge of these pre-existing conditions, would make for a better, more meaningful relationship, as they know what to avoid, what will rouse a negative reaction in me. the worst part is that I don't usually lash out, I just internalise these actions towards me and blame and shame myself for feeling this way about it, when the person might have intended no harm in it. Needless to say I have avoided romantic relationships like the plague, being 20, attracted to all genders and not been in a single relationship, and only recently, acquired close friends, (that our friendship started as trauma-bonding) which I've learned now is kinda dangerous, but we all work towards self-improvement, and share our therapy breakthroughs over a glass of wine. I am the happiest I have ever been, but getting here was no easy feat. also, really sorry for the essay, but I have more,, As a first gen immigrant of Nigerian parents, (that in itself is enough to send my therapist's children to private school) as a black, non-british person living in the UK, it's even harder, because, not only am I othered for being black, queer and afab, there's even less grace for me as a mentally ill, neurodivergent person, that for the longest time, I had to self diagnose, in order to just live and navigate life. When I eventually got my first diagnosis of depression, and was put on antidepressants, I didn't tell my parents, when I did, they were upset. To me, it seemed their main worry was their child being diagnosed as a 'mad' person, the clinical label didn't sit right with them. So, to my people, they just didn't acknowledge it because that would further mar the image if black people or immigrants, in an already xenophobic, racist environment. And to white people, they couldn't fathom, a non-white person, having the same ailments as them(it was like I was never a valid part of their community, also no suprise, this is how I felt in predominantly white queer spaces). This ostracization left me feeling worse about myself, and with no support. Honestly, downloading tiktok and subsequently finding black queer spaces, black neurodivergent spaces in the app literally saved me from the darkest years of my life. I had a space, a pocket to escape to when the world felt a bit much, and was able to create these spaces and find spaces like that in my immediate environment. This video was a masterpiece, I especially loved the segment where you highlighted the voices of neurodivergent and disabled people on ableism and sanism in media and the world around us. You deserve your flowers, hopefully you get like an award or something for these bangers because, your videos has taught me more than being in school my whole life has. And I get to access this for free!! You are a gem. Hopefully when I'm a bit more financially stable I can become a patreon and give back, however little I can
As someone who loved English, would have been an English major if I could afford it, and loves your videos, please don't worry about the long videos! The people who are tired of it can mind their business
@ellipszilonq 2 yıl önce
Shanspeare saying Doctor Strange instead of Doctor Sleep is iconic behavior tbh
@Shanspeare 2 yıl önce
LMAO did I really?? 😭 it’s the goatee, it was distracting me
@rahbeeuh 2 yıl önce
@@Shanspeare 35:15 💛
@jomorton9897 2 yıl önce
honestly haven't watched the show, but I really enjoyed the video! Recently getting an ADHD diagnosis has definitely helped me a lot while also making me become very aware of the ableism that has been pushed on me. Talking with others who have various or similar diagnoses is really what was helped me in terms of coming to terms with the fact that my life will be a bit different. Medication and therapy of course are key, but actually coming to terms with this is how my brain works and I've got to negotiate with it. So many people think that you can just "fix" mental illness, but there's so much more to mental and physical disability. Existing with it, living with it, every day. Thank you for your beautiful and informative video!
@ellis16 2 yıl önce
Mad respect. This video is fantastic, well-spoken, and very intellectually stimulating. I really respect how you included such diverse disabled voices towards the end! :) can’t wait to see more content from you in the future
@thebestalpal 2 yıl önce
thank you so much for talking about personality disorders -- it's so important, and so few people discuss them with the compassion you did. i am studying psychology and i (might? we're not sure yet!) have bpd. i am genuinely constantly scared of being a horrible, awful person who will inevitably hurt everyone i love. it's hard to look up anything related to bpd because all the advice is for people *without* bpd, who have the apparent displeasure of having to associate with A Borderline. often times, it feels like people would rather those with bpd just disappear all together. psychology is an ever-changing field. new things about the brain are discovered all the time; i just think it's a shame how people only take just enough interest in it to assist their ableist shit. anyway, this is an amazing video! you're really one of the best youtubers
@itiswhatitis7519 2 yıl önce
the bit in the beginning where you complimented us viewers felt really genuine and directed for some reason and i need it this morning, thank you, you’re my favorite commentary/video essay/media topic breakdown channel❤️
@BillyBoPretty 2 yıl önce
This video went so much deeper than I was expecting. Thank you so much for the work you and others put into this.
Shanspeare - the Whispering Queen of Thumbnails
@Shanspeare 2 yıl önce
Now listen 😂 we can’t all be mr beast!
@@Shanspeare mr beast? I'm just tryna get like you but with a beard... Wait you had a beard too 🤣🥴
@RexytheRexy 4 aylar önce
This probably seems like a tiny thing, but it means a lot: thank you so, so much for putting the word psycho in quotes. Pre-emptive apologies for the manuscript length comment. Psychosis is so deeply misunderstood and horribly mischaracterized, as is schizophrenia (and so, for that matter, is antisocial personality disorder). As someone recently diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder (it hasn't been confirmed by my psychiatrist, but my psychologist has been studying it and bipolar disorder for over 30 years, she's known me for 25, and she made the call/has the authority to write my service dog prescription) who has been coping with psychosis off and on for years and needs a service dog to help her cope with it, the way we're seen, treated, and represented in media (and in everyday conversation) is deeply hurtful and harmful, and actually fuels pathology - examples are social withdrawal/isolation, paranoia, and the chronic stress that comes from living in a society wherein people with family histories of psychotic disorders don't have children, for fear that they'll end up like me. It's a painful, sometimes lonely place. tl;dr Thank you for the care and thought you put into your creations, and your kindness and empathy for minorities of all kinds. It is noticed and appreciated, and so are you. 💜
@chrissy3875 9 aylar önce
Your talk on privilege was amazing, another shanspeare slay
@Ninjacatmuffin 2 yıl önce
Going into 58:50 (from the perspective of one formally diagnosed autistic): It's true that Asperger's is now part of the ASD spectrum. The DSM IV had 3 separate diagnoses for autism back when it has out: ASD, Asperger's, and PDD-NOS (pervasive developmental disorder not otherwise specified). They were all in the same umbrella of diagnoses but there were some differences that separated them. I believe I got PDD-NOS when I was diagnosed since I had speech issues that made me too "severe" to have Asperger's. (Note that "severe" is in quotes since I am not a fan of the functioning labels as a perma-diagnosis) When the DSM V came out, those three categories were all lumped into ASD. That is one reason why Asperger's is seen as equivalent to ASD now. Side note: Others mentioned this already, but Hans Asperger is a nazi scientist, so some (myself included) don't really like to use Asperger's anymore. Everyone is different with what terms they prefer, but I personally like to use autistic for myself Side note pt 2: The DSM is not perfect especially if you are getting a diagnosis as an adult. I'm just using it as a frame of reference for how ASD is categorized for the general public
@TheDwinter1919 7 aylar önce
The ending made me a fan for life. I cannot express to you how liberating it is to hear a beautiful person such as yourself, talk about their own mental health struggles. I am sitting in a dark room that suddenly became so so bright :) Thanks for sharing a little courage
@lyla951217 2 yıl önce
Thanks for including words from someone with DID. As a fellow system (person(s) with DID), anytime it's publicly pointed out how shittily we're portrayed in media I do a little internal dance; because our current media representation is either super triggering, inaccurate, sensationalized, or just plain not there. Legion, Split, and now the upcoming Moon Knight series... They all lean into the "super power" idea which I'm personally fine with, it makes it sound like less of a miserable time. But they also lean into the anti-hero/villain with "multiple personalities" trope. Why can't we have a straightforward superhero with DID who doesn't turn evil or have malicious alters. Like, we're just a traumatized group of people who have a really interesting coping mechanism in the form of hyper dissociation, to the point where our ego can't condense into one whole "identity" by the time we finish childhood. That's it. That's the game. Yeah there's a bit more to it, but the underlying point is, STOP VILLAINIZING PEOPLE WITH DISSOCIATIVE IDENTITY DISORDER.
I somehow liked all woman: Beck was most relatable, swinging between the extremes of being morally correct and morally corrupt, with the rather fascination of latter (which is the entire subtext of the show), Love was privileged and unhinged, just like Joe. Marianne was ambitious and just trying to meet ends meet while also coping with tricky divorce and toxic ex husband. Candace wasn't given much of storyline apart the one we see in flashbacks (which is from Joe's perspective) but she did come to save other women from Joe's future mistreatment instead of just moving on with her life after almost losing it. Karen was really helpful to Claudia & Paco. Delilah was also complex and trying to bring herself and other little girls of Hendy's wrath justice. Sherry even though was superficial at first, slowly through Love's friendship with her opened for a more nuanced behaviour and traits of surviving in a superficial world and finding herself first than finding a perfect partner whose validation will make her whole(although Cary also looked perfect superficially).
@MaRyaYTOfficial 2 yıl önce
I find it interesting and very cool actually that all women characters were so complex and had personalities and interests outside of just joe which is almost opposite for lack of better word to joe, his whole thing is finding someone to love him, fill the hole his mother made and also be the perfect mother and women, oh and books! He judges everyone and is in a lot of ways nastier than those he judges, the exception being love and hendy-who also hurt people in a horrific way.
@mississipi1103 2 yıl önce
I am happy to see somebody not hating Beck, because I remembered that there was a whole hate campaign on the internet in the You fandom. I've never really understood why
@koostattoos-8859 2 yıl önce
im sorry but beck was the absolute worst
@susanjoyce4244 2 yıl önce
@@mississipi1103 I feel like it’s just self-projection at this point, at least that was why I personally found her annoying in the first season. Out of all the YOU girls she was by far the most relatable “young woman navigating her young adult years”, and let’s be honest, most people watch shows like this to get away from the realities of life, not to get sucked right back in with characters who are a true reflection of themselves
@ereristark425 2 yıl önce
Maybe it's cause I read the book but Beck was a terrible person. The fact that she wasn't a "good" person made his obsession all the more unreasonable. Joe wouldn't have liked Beck outside of his murderous obsession with her.
can we just appreciate... you? yes you shanspeare. this video and all of your videos feeds my academic fantasy (currently double major in psychology and sociology) i have searching for so long to get someone with this content. you are fantastic! (ps. you lowkey inspired me to push for making my own ytchan once out of school so thank you 🥺
@bobsnob2619 2 yıl önce
Thank you so much for putting captions
SUCH an excellent video! I can't even find the words right now, but that was truly an epic. So well done! 🌈💖
I just listened to this entire video on 0.75 speed as working from home distraction/background noise. And loved it. You're doing amazing sweetie
@motorcitymangababe 2 yıl önce
Unironically want to watch this now cause Victoria pedretti is in it. Even if its a hot mess i can enjoy her acting. ETA- as for media representation of mental illness, my own condition (adhd) is almost always portrayed wrong. Its middle school boys with aggressive energy- and always with the undertone that the real treatment is a good dose of child abuse. Adhd is more than preteen boys with too much energy. Its more than forgetfullness. Its more than "look a bunny rabbit!" Its emotional dysregulation, its living in a constant fog of "what am i not remembering?" Its not being able to do anything for hours. Its parents who refuse to treat you because they dont want to be seen as bad parents, all the while abusing you for not being able to function like "a normal kid" Untreated adhd leads to higher rates of divorce, heart attack stroke (iirc), accidents, fatal accidents, addiction, and suicide. Its not a badly behaved 12 year old snorting pixie sticks in kath class. And tbh? Closest thing ive seen to an accurate adhd depiction is the Manic Pixie Dream Girl- its just portrayed as a quirky personality made for men and not the disorder it is. Any of those girls with a veneer of reality could have been really interesting characters.
@robinknight2251 2 yıl önce
The ownership part is triggering. My ex husband, as soon as that ring went on my finger, acted as though he owned me. His version of who I am is not based in reality, which happens a lot with a lot of men. When I left he told me that I couldn't leave because I was married to him. The sense of entitlement is staggering.
@pissapocalypse 2 yıl önce
I'm really sorry that happened, it must've been terrifying. One of my worst fears is that I date someone, fall in love, it goes well, we date for years, and suddenly he shows his true horrifying colors. Then what do I do? I love him, I don't want to leave him but I know I have to. And what if we live together? It's just scary because men can seem wonderful for so long and then one day they appear to change out of the blue, but it was right there and you just didn't see the signs until it was too late. It's just... scary.
@ana-nim 8 aylar önce
@@pissapocalypse same! I also have a fear of dating a man and believing that he loves and respects me and live with him for the rest of my life without knowing that he calls women "holes" behind my back or something like that. It's such an irrational fear since there's no danger in this scenario but just the thought of wasting my life and my love on someone who doesn't even view me as human for some reason terrifies me. Every time I come across misogynistic comment I think "poor women in your life, they don't even know..."
@arigorane7030 2 yıl önce
Im watching criminal minds rn and i haven’t gotten to the episode of misophonia yet, but as someone who has it hearing about that episode made me sad 😭 even though its a great show it’s so problematic in how they portray mental illnesses sometimes ☹️ from what i understand about whatever buzzing the perpetrator hears it’s not even misophonia. We don’t experience that, only reactions to noises other people make. Anyway, i love your videos and watching them is a joy. I feel both educated and entertained 🥰
@samkcatladyaks 2 yıl önce
I’m at 1:25 and I’m disabled and I appreciate you so much for letting us talk. Thank you. For me, it feels so hard, exhausting, and fruitless a lot of times I’ve tried to put my thoughts and experiences into words so for everyone who shared their experiences, thank you so much. More ppl need to hear our voices so we can start to work on the systems that make living w our disabilities even more difficult and harmful. You are amazing. Thank you all so much.❤️
@drina4706 2 yıl önce
Wow, girl!!! You ate sooo smart and well spoken and succinct!!! How do we get you on television??? You need to raise these poignant and important issues on mass media!!! You made me think about how I think about certain people with mental illnesses,with disabilities and others. You need to be on mass media i.e. Television to MAKE PEOPLE THINK ABOUT THESE IMPOANT ISSUES!!! And your commentaries and observations need to be broadcast worldwide. These issues plague humanity as a whole, on the entire Planet Earth!!! You have a new subscriber. I am blessed to have found you on TRvid. 🙂👍🤗
@percyorsomething2641 5 aylar önce
My friend told me once, about one of my many ramblings on my undiagmosed chronic pain: if you feel it, it is real. Those words healed something in me I didnt know was broken. Him saying that, in such a gentle, loving, and accepting way, made me really know how much my friends believe me. Many of my friends suffer from chronic pain, as birds of a feather flock together, but this particular friend doesn’t. Hearing something so accepting from an able bodied person felt life changing, not to be overdramatic. I wish that disabled reprentation in the media were better, both as a disabled person and someone with many disabled loved ones. Thank you for this video.
@onewayticket2148 2 yıl önce
When I first watched you, I remember not really having an opinion of beck. I didn’t hate her or love her, like I am with most other characters in media. But when I started watching videos about the show and going to fan spaces, I saw so many people complaining about her that it pretty much changed my opinion towards her. It’s sad honestly, I didn’t realize how biased and sexist a lot of the hate against her was.
@oliviaprusky8652 2 yıl önce
Only 20 mins in so I don’t know if you cover this so sorry if you do later:) But I think that the way Joe hates Love, specifically the way he hates her impulsiveness , is 100% a result of misogyny. Womens “hysteria” has been critiqued all throughout history, and has been a major misogynistic idea that oppressed women (like the witch trials, etc). The way that Joe thinks he is better than Love is definitely a representation of the way that he views her as hysterical. He has this idea of a crazy women because of his misogyny, so he views her murders are worse than his because his are calculated, while hers are because she is “crazy”. Can’t wait to keep watching!
good pick up! I definitely agree
@diamondicn2679 2 yıl önce
Was she not crazy?
@allyli1718 2 yıl önce
@@diamondicn2679 the problem isn’t that she’s not crazy, it’s that they’re both crazy. The difference is that he believes that he isn’t crazy because he’s a calm calculated man while she’s an emotional woman. He uses misogyny as a defense mechanism to protect his ego from the truth that he’s just as crazy as she is. It reminds me of a guy who yells all the time but calls his wife emotional for crying. Anger is an emotion too, Zach.
@madelinevlogs5898 2 yıl önce
@@allyli1718 true. It also bothered me when fans said that Love was always messy and impulsive while Joe was the smart one who thought things through. Wasn’t Joe stabbing Ryan where a bunch of people could’ve seen him messy and dumb? And wasn’t Love paralyzing Joe with the wolfsbane on the knife smart and calculated?
@lenaalt2387 2 yıl önce
​@@allyli1718 I understand the point about women hysteria, and perhaps traditional gender roles has an indirect effect on the way Joe views Love. However, let's frame it a different way: if Joe were to like men instead of women, and if Love were to be a man instead of a woman, then would he still think the same? Would he still see Love as being hysterical and irrational, if Love were a man? I'm not saying I'm anything like Joe, but I do like seeing myself as more calm and calculated than others, and seeing others as rash or shallow. Not always because it's true, but because doing so makes me feel better about myself. It has to do with me wanting to protect my own ego, like you mention, but this doesn't necessarily have to do with anyone's gender.
Please keep making videos longer than 30 min for those of us (me) who just won't watch it unless it's long af. This video made me subscribe.
@jennalynn9009 Yıl önce
I’m only 48 minutes in right now. I just wanted to say I really appreciate that you called out people throwing around “psychopathic” and “sociopath” in your discussion of how the show stigmatizes mental health. I know a few people with those disorders and I’ve heard them often talk about how it feels that people never push back against the idea of “all psychopaths and sociopaths being violent and dangerous” the way they may with other mental disorders so I’m very glad to see that someone is calling attention to that. Absolutely adore your videos and thank you for the work and care you put into them!
Thank you for sharing about your mental illness. I have bipolar II aswell and it sometimes gets really lonely to go through it alone, when people around you don't understand anything at all what it's like. Seeing people share their stories encourages me to keep on going and don't feel "crazy" ♥️
@calicocritter4906 4 aylar önce
As someone who has struggled with pots it really felt so good to see someone with asthma speak up abt their struggles. I know it's not the same but my broken heart goes out to people with broken lungs
@chasewilliams4819 2 yıl önce
your videos are so well made!! i really hope your channel grows and gets the recognition it deserves
@lefu87williford55 2 yıl önce
I'm autistic. Asperger's is an outdated diagnosis. Some of us have more marketable obsessions and are better at masking. That doesn't make us less autistic.
@artsygoth13 2 yıl önce
well said
@rahbeeuh 2 yıl önce
It's one of my pet peeves when people try to differentiate between ASD and Asperger's. Same with ADHD and ADD. The latter for both conditions are outdated yet people swear they're still accurate and they aren't 😭
@lefu87williford55 2 yıl önce
@@rahbeeuh I know what you mean. I have ADHD too.
@rahbeeuh 2 yıl önce
@@lefu87williford55 I have ADHD and self-diagnosis with ASD but I've got an assessment scheduled in a few months. Your understanding means a lot.
@lefu87williford55 2 yıl önce
@@rahbeeuh I'm in the same boat
@SamSaysHaiw 2 yıl önce
This was phenomenal, as someone with BPD it felt really nice to hear the acknowledging of how stigmatized personality disorders are
@rhiannon2028 2 yıl önce
This is the best video essay I’ve ever had stumble into my feed! I love love love your editing style, the way the conversation flows so naturally into the next topic, and YOURE VOICE IS SO RELAXING OMGGG I wish I could curate a better worded compliment for you but it’s the early morning where I live and I can’t exactly think straight when I’m this sleep deprived
@katerosa8214 2 yıl önce
I started watching your content quite recently and I immediately felt this sort of kinship to you I couldn't quite explain. Hearing you talk about your experiences with Bipolar II was so validating and resonant. Thanks so much for talking about it, specifically the misunderstanding that type ii is the "lesser" one, which I hear ALL the time. I live every day trying to buoy myself and fight off the dark moods, and I'm always a bit scared I'm going to end up part of the dark statistics for our disease. Solidarity makes me feel sane and gives me hope. Thank you again.
@katerosa8214 2 yıl önce
And your live/die chart was VERY funny to me. God, I get it and I've been there. I've started trying to "bottle" that feeling of sheepish, funny relief after coming out, so I can bring it out when I'm hopeless.
@JellyPieCharms 2 yıl önce
I ADORE your content. Educated, funnily edited, no screaming/stupid sound affects so it's easy to listen along ❤️ new favorite
@awesomesauce7542 2 yıl önce
absolutely stunning video!!!! you verbalized thoughts and feelings that have been bothering me ever since i became aware of my own mental illnesses and my relationship to their portrayal on screen!!!! you are so amazing!
@kurtismakuru8593 2 yıl önce
I am diagnosed with bpd and the first thing my mum said when she found out was that she always knew I would be a murderer. I'm not fucking joking.
@kalamies. 2 yıl önce
What the hell
@kurtismakuru8593 2 yıl önce
The only person I'm a danger to is myself lol 🤠 thanks for the fear of abandonment mum 😎
that is awful. having bpd doesn't make you a murderer or a bad person. you can be a good person and have bpd, like someone without bpd can be a good person.
@notreal6762 2 yıl önce
@inksempire7668 2 yıl önce
Jezz, I'm sorry that happened. What mother would look at her own kid and think "Hmm, yes, a murderer"
I was diagnosed with bi polar 2 and ptsd along with anxiety last summer. I’m not gonna have the best grammar with this bc it definitely made me pretty emotional. I’ve been having a bad day most of today. It got to a point where I couldn’t shower in a calm way. I wanted to cry and I couldnt. I shed some tears but I mostly put out a very tense cry face. Just because I didn’t allow myself to cry I didn’t wanna fully submit to my emotions today. It’s been hard for me to not identify with my mental illness especially with everything that has become around me since being diagnosed. Anyways after having a day where I panic and thought “I hate myself” over a hundred times just because I might be late for work. And my brain is too chaotic to be okay enough to shower, do my hair, and be out the door on time. Especially as a black girl who fell asleep without a scarf or bonnet on the night before. (Y’all know the struggle) I just wanna say thank u for this. & I’m gonna go cry in the corner and watch a couple more of ur videos. Just thank u for making me feel seen and normal. I just love how it went from a Joe burning ceremony to a virtual hug. Thank u idk how many times I can say that. Thank u as someone who has the same illness as u thank u. U don’t know how many times I’ve thought very dark thoughts and scared myself and looked to insightful people like u to just turn my brain off. I’m so happy I came across this video and I learned something and it made me also unintentionally feel better about staying here on this earth. Even though it’s hard for me and my family at times. I’m still here and I deserve to be here
Sorry for the long comment
And now I am finally letting myself let out that cry I must’ve needed to do all day. This video made me so happy. Thank u
@elvirag4197 2 yıl önce
I have chronic fatigue syndrome and borderline personality disorder, both highly stigmatised and massively misunderstood even by doctors. It’s been incredibly difficult for me to live because getting support for either has been a struggle. Chronic fatigue syndrome is also massively underfunded in research so even doctors who do have more of an understanding of the condition, still don’t know treatment of it. It has been hard to work where I cannot afford my utilities, and hard to get any support at all, let alone the struggle I endured for diagnosis. I appreciate people like you speaking up about topics such as these which helps spread awareness ❤️
@kyrajager907 2 yıl önce
This was such a ride. Informative. Heartfelt. Eye-opening. I'm glad you're still with us. You're worthy. Always. Thank you for this video and all the voices inside of it.
@penbot6806 2 yıl önce
i could watch your videos for hours, the level of detail is amazing and you have such a calming voice, thank you for covering so many important topics :)
@meredithcastro7869 2 yıl önce
This is so great! I love a critique that's not the typical big brain reminder that this is a romantization of toxic relationships when it's actually the opposite. You should make an essay on Killing Stalking, I think it touches similar styles as in You, in the way that people think it's a romantic story when it's actually a horror thriller, that touches on topics of mental dissorders, abuse and trauma
@Neimykanani 2 yıl önce
After watching You, I can’t watch Japanese romantic dramas without cringing with what the main guy does for the girl because it’s stalker behavior 😅 like the guy somehow ends up in the room with no invitation or the girl wakes up to realize she is on the guy’s lap when she fell asleep on the couch (and they aren’t even dating 💀) Plus the guy doesn’t take “no” for an answer like you said in the video 😭
Same oh my gosh I have some friends obsessed with romantic kdramas but the guys are always grabbing the girl’s wrists and pulling her when she tries to leave and practically forcing himself on her half the time, even when she says no! It makes me sooo uncomfortable 😔
@cryforhelp7270 2 yıl önce
@@cheeseisherelive753 Ughhh I hate those... so much. There's this one kdrama I watched where four guys like the same girl- she kind of works for them as sort of a live in maid (but also acts as discipline?). And the main love interest is always grabbing her, ridiculing her, and doing the worst shit- but it's ok!!! He saved her from that falling vase or some shit! So now everything he does is romantic, even if he berates her for the dumbest reasons hahaha!
@@cryforhelp7270 yes they’re always like that!! It’s kind of outrageous tbh, there’s no way this is actually considered romantic I hope ;-;
Thats why I like history Asian dramas, because Asian history was so wacky that you don't know if it's real recounts or exaggerated accounts from when they were written in that time
@anishinaabae 2 yıl önce
@@your_dad_on_vacation same! not to mention a lot of historial asian dramas feature badass bitches who would simply eviscerate a man for trying to strong-arm her, which you love to see.
@Sekovatkain 2 yıl önce
I thought I could use this as a sleeping aid because your voice is so soothing, but then it turned out to be so engaging that I couldn't fall asleep. So I guess I'll have to subscribe and watch during daytime hours.
@arnettrabaker4872 2 yıl önce
I’m so happy you’re here. What a profound video. Also, I really do love ‘You’ and I never thought Joe was a psychopath/sociopath, etc., to me, he’s just a guy.
@M0Nk32 Aylar önce
Thanks for the indepth video! I really appreciate the genuine approach to the topic of misrepresentation of mental health and disability in media too, love your work!
@uwu-mj9ce 2 yıl önce
hey shan! your video really made me feel visible. im a first gen latina college student thats diagnosed with depression and anxiety. a lot of times these two are played as "a bit" for comedic purposes but like many people in your video have said, it's greatly debilitating. i think youd really like bojack horseman! its characters feel like genuine people even while they do their wacky shenanigans. it tackles tough topics like addicition, depression, generational trauma, and a bunch more! you dont have to do a video essay on it, but i think it has really broken down the glass walls that entrap a lot of people who struggle with mental illnesses. i walked away with a better understanding of myself and the people around me. keep making this amazing content! i really appreciate your dedication and passion for these projects and they always leave such a huge impact on me. sending you lots of love !!
@Whyjustwhy772 2 yıl önce
This is a very thoughtful video, and as someone with both a mental illness (GAD) and a neurodevelopmental disorder (NVLD), I appreciate the care and effort you put into researching this topic
@thescarlettgirl202 2 yıl önce
People will always want to believe that serial killers are somehow mentally ill. The alternative is believing that healthy minds can do the most evil acts imaginable. But that's why I'm not fond of calling anything or anyone a personality disorder. What about toxic masculinity? It's certainly described using the same language as a personality disorder. Should that be a mental health defense in court? There's a core contradiction to our mental health system that needs a resolution. On the one hand,we want to avoid stigmatizing mental health disorders. On the other hand,"disorder" is a negative label. It's not actually good to be sick. I understand that conditions which hamper function need treatment. But listing "flawed personalities" is a winding and dangerous process.
@20628 2 yıl önce
@layla8830 Yıl önce
The issue is that in terms like 'sociopath' and 'psychopath' or 'narcisst' we ascribe an illness where there actually is just a for the most part set personality structure. The defining symptoms of these 'disorders' are antisocial behaviors, so when we see those behaviors in people we automatically assume mental illness. We basically invented a medical category so we won't have to deal with the social issues actually causing antisocial behaviors and causing children to develop personality structures, respectively.
@@layla8830 Sure,but we could also just admit that everyone has flaws. I've loved a woman who was vain as could be. And that's the issue. This is a likeability barometer. Charismatic sociopaths aren't getting labeled. They're getting celebrated.
@layla8830 Yıl önce
@@thescarlettgirl202 I'd say the fact that charismatic sociopaths are celebrated is the issue with our social system overall. And just bc these people are generally liked doesn't mean they can't wreak havoc in people's life's. That's not to say that all of them do, but the thing stopping them are nothing more than enforced social or legal norms, not actual moral convictions. It's not a pleasant state of being for many of them either. They may have a desire for genuine connection, but are unable to ever achieve that due to their lack of empathy, they may have little to no emotional life resulting in a feeling of emptiness, they may have compulsive desires, they'll try to fulfill even at their own demise, like the need to be admired by others, wich is actually rooted in low self esteem. I believe these personality structures can actually be a benefit for society, there are professions and social roles in wich they play out positively, but we have to structure society accordingly. Everyone has flaws, sure. I'm a very vain and proud person myself, wich can and sometimes does hurt the people around me. But that's a flaw that exists in moderation, only so far as it's rigidly controlling my own behaviors, but not those of others. And it's fundamentally different from actively hurting those around me for my own benefit and having no remorse doing so.
@@layla8830 If people enjoy getting wrecked,it's hard to stop that process,even if I should. There's women I'd let stuff me into the truck of their car. What system is gonna fix that?
@lesbienby 2 yıl önce
i don't understand how you don't have more subscribers! your content is incredible and handles every topic with grace. this video is one of my favs from you now because of the discussions on ableism and sanism. much love ❤️
@Slashy. 2 yıl önce
This was a rollercoaster of emotions, new information and knowledge that changed my perspective on many things :0 10/10, and amazing video, would definitely rewatch :D
@ashleywoods1617 2 yıl önce
As a child I was diagnosed with Asperger's, which as mentioned in now part of autism spectrum disorder. Asperger's has a terrible history, which is part of the reason it is not longer used. During WW2 in Nazi Germany people who were considered to be on the "right side" of the spectrum were likely to be "integrated" into society because the could be "useful" while those who were not deemed "useful" were often sent to camps. Dr. Asperger , the name sake, to my knowledge played a role in this. Using the term Asperger's can further perpetuate that some of us are more valuable than others. This is also why functioning labels (high and low functioning) are longer used. Terminology like this can be harmful and creates the idea that some people hold more "value" than others. I hope this was a little helpful to those interested. There are tons of article you can find if you want to learn more.
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