Jennette McCurdy & Drew Barrymore on Complicated Relationships with Mothers | Barrymore's Backstage 

Yeah, I just paused on that part...

Your truth can be different than mine just like memories. ❤️🥰💕

💯

Powerful.

I felt that in my very soul. ❤️‍🔥

I hear you. I believe you. So relatable!

Philip Garcia personality: the combination of characteristics or qualities that form an individual's distinctive character

Philip Garcia you do realize she was forced into the entertainment industry when she was a literal baby and her mother used her for money and fame. She ended up in a mental institution by the age of 13 strung out on alcohol and drugs because she was partying so hard in Hollywood. You obviously don’t know what she’s suffered at the hands of her neglectful parents:

This was all scripted.

SAME 😢

I relate. I’m 45 and didn’t have kids because I didn’t want to do to them what my mom did to me. I’m in therapy now and feel like if I would’ve been healed earlier in life, things might’ve been different.

Start working on yourself now. I've been in therapy for the past 9 years to work on my trauma and to process everything that happened my whole childhood/teenagehood. I have a beautiful three year old little boy, and still have moments when I get triggered from my past. Sometimes he's the one that's triggering me and therapy gave me to coping skills and self awareness to recognize that and realize as well as the strength to walk away.

I never wanted to have kids for the same reason! I now have a almost two year old, and she has been the best catalyst to my healing. And she already has such a different childhood than me!

Definitely one of several reasons I've never wanted children. I believe if you continue to do the work and you know what triggers you or issues you face, you can definitely become the person you want to be.

@DarkLady0801 sorry i read this comment and could relate so much. I have a 4 year old and find myself getting triggered too. I hope I find the skills to cope too.

That is it 😂💯

This would be brilliant ❤

the perfect title

I am sure she is thinking about it

Who's her guest? I didn't know her at all! 😊

@A. S. She was on a nickeloden show called ICarly, also a show with Ariana Grande, Kat & Sam.

@OverMoreover Thx!

@OverMoreover Sam & Cat

she could have asked literally anyone or her own therapist no need to ask net, I felt bad. She has done so much to overcome people pleasing and drew seems very serious and pushing like she's an adult and she is way older than her. I felt net being tensed and worried

yeah, honestly, this reminded me of deep conversations you have with a friend where you feel like you could keep talking forever

She also went on Red Table Talk

Absolutely love drew 🎉 Thanks Jennette for taking the time to talk

Oh absolutely! I think it’s because they both experienced very similar trauma that it feels more like they’re guiding each other through it rather than talking at one another

Absolutely 💯♥️

The funny thing is I think young people who went through trauma had a strange connection to her character Sam. I remember thinking she was such an off character but having an affinity for her

Repent to Jesus Christ “Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms.” ‭‭1 Peter‬ ‭4‬:‭10‬ ‭NIV‬‬ J

@S D Sam cracked me up tho

This was what made it interesting listening to her book ( I listen to it on my walks) that she really understands grammar very well which is something I'm not good at in anyway.

Have you seen the one she did with Trevor Noah? That one was really good too

My queen

Qveen !!! shoulda figured you’d be apart of this convo

I feel as if there was editing out some of the conversation. I wish I could see the unedited conversation.

@Sam I miss him. He has the best conversations too

I instantly agreed as well as I’ve always felt the same way. Maybe doesn’t apply to all but, most. All the love they didn’t receive, they give and then some!

i feel you, it’s tough when your mom crosses those boundaries.. learning to say no for yourself (of course you might’ve already done this) is an amazing first step to healing all those times people crossed a boundary, because then you know for yourself that you have the tools to prevent them from doing it again and it is never your fault those things happened to you. we can’t choose what family we’re born into, but we can use it as an opportunity to grow (ugh i know that sounds so cheesy, and it’s totally okay to feel that what you’ve endured wasn’t fair, because it wasn’t !) we grow up with this idea of mothers being these perfect nurturing beings that we can never criticize, which makes it hurt all the more when they didn’t actually embody that. i wish you all the best on your healing journey and i hope my words aren’t triggering, i just relate to what you feel because i’ve been through it too ♥️

@funnyimi Thank you, this was comforting to hear. 🖤 I've begun to talk about this with my therapist and she agrees that it was a form of sexual violation. I'm determined to process it and heal. I hope you can heal too.

Much love. It's such a difficult, painful process, but so worth it.

They’re just talking about life it’s not really a therapy session

@Marie Rodriguez it's therapeutic

I was legit saddened when it ended i wish this was a series!

It's also not your standard press interview going on here between these two. Could be considered A form of therapy 😊

Me too - I have tears!

I’ve always said mother because a mom gives you love and cares about you, a mother just gives birth to you :)

❤❤❤

❤️❤️

Sending love & strength your way

This was the most perfect interview for Drew as well, no-one understands like she can. DEFINITELY the best interview on the book I've seen ❣️❣️

she's truly had an incredible arc. It must be wild to be her.

Agreed

WOW she's sooo brave & smart . She's Awesome .

AMEN. She has been through it all. Relatable is an understatement. Minus the fame lol!

It's so soothing to see her in this light after watching Sam's character! Growing up with Sam was fun but growing into Jeanette is so healing ❤

@Jonelle Christopher I don’t know why but this reminded me of how Sams character always had a hard relationship with her mom. I wonder if Jeanette ever felt like represented by that aspect of Sam?

@Zoey R Unfortunately the opposite; Dan Scheneider (the creator of the show and a Nick exec who likely abused Jennette, though she's never directly given his name) would write in things that the actors were insecure about or having a difficult time with. For instance, he also made Jennette eat a ton of food on camera, even though she was very clearly dealing with an eating disorder

lookup Jay Pop- Love Is Murder 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

She really is!

I'm glad you exposed the abuser. Hoping your life is enriched

Same

Feel it in my bones

Same here :(

Yessss!

It's so so true

I'm sorry you had to go through that. You gotta heal in case you want to make it safe and positive for you and your kids.

If there's one breath left in you, there's time. You can heal and know love.

Thank you! So glad you liked the interview!

Yntyyt y 😮

It's called acting.

I appreciate the way Drew is so warm and real in conversations. It makes people she speaks with so much more comfortable and not judged in their truth.

Instant Star was so good 🙌🏼

Yeah, it's not just fathers.

I'm shocked, I've never seen any of her show before this. She handles this difficult conversation with elegance and grace. I hope she does more of these hard hitting interviews. She is so open, raw and humble. When she jumped up to hug her it shows that she cares more about the person than getting the juicy details. I was moved to tears by this conversation and I'm sure I'm not the only one. Good job Drew and thanks to Jennette for being so open and shading her story!

Yes

Cause she did it. She broke through and Drew recognizes. Miracle Drew is healthy and thriving being troubled kid actor with us but she can take it next level now. Exceptional!

@hidingintheopen egg xurde

lookup Jay Pop- Love Is Murder 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

It's a noble and loving inclination to want to have defended your father but know that that wasn't your responsibility. Let that guilt melt away by recognizing you were a child and no one would shame you for being the child to your father.

Well I’m surprised it’s not in this discussion, but beyond the hate and humor, the title really hits at the truth-she really was able to dive deep in her healing journey I think Because her mom died. It freed her to explore all this more than before (I mean I know She started therapy before her moms death but still)

I was just thinking this! her show has been so uplifting and natural. she is so genuine with all of her guests unlike other hosts

yes ❤️❤️❤️

So true ❤

Absolutely. Her journey has made her into a pretty sweet, open, and genuine human being.

I've been a fan of hers for sooo long and part of my love of her is because of her compassion and her giant beautiful heart. She's an iconic woman for so many reasons but she's the one major celebrity that I feel like I could get ice cream with and it would be comfortable not intimidating because of who she is.

My thoughts as well

Privacy is okay too

Beautifully said! She has had a tougher road than most and it’s been clear for a while she was not treated well as a child by her mother (& potentially others). Whether she goes public with the information or she confronts the person(people) personally in her life that abused her, it is absolutely her choice and will remain to be seen.

She would be a wonderful mommy!!!

@Ellie Sherman drew barrymore wrote a memoir too you know

This is me with my Dad. For LOOONG time. Now I'm like he's the ass. Not me.

@Kori Emerson same with my mom

@Kori Emerson same here girly. your not alone

Right there with you..I froze. Epiphany.

Me too. It's really hard when your parent is loved by outside people so much and keeps up appearances so well that no one would have an inkling of the trauma you have to deal with behind closed doors.

I can totally relate to your comment. Sometimes I've had a really difficult problem differentiating the two emotions.

I feel a very real sense of this on most of my adult life and quite a bit of it as I've grown up. The worst part is not being able to differentiate between the sense of those that you know do not deserve your time and how to establish the foundation to build your own self-worth back up. Most people that I've spoken with that have been contributors or just didn't view my life from the same lens, will tell me that I only read the situation to place myself as the victim. My biggest issue is not being able to read social scenarios well. I don't think that should place a child under scrutiny, especially when I'd get upset with myself whenever I didn't understand.

Hi

Same

I would highly recommend reading Brene Brown's books or listening to her TED talks. She has done in-depth shame research, and her material is very HEALING! Focus on one thing today: make things about actions rather than internalizing the actions into an adjective for yourself. That's a big one for people who struggle with the weight of shame. I encourage you to see things in the future as an action...This is a simple example, but a good place to start is by thinking: I did ___badly...... FOCUS on that instead of saying *I* am bad (or whatever adjective that is tearing yourself down), because this incubates shame. I hope I could help a little bit and that I was able to help in some way. I hope you feel a little bit better each day going forward. 💞

wow wow wow... didn't hear that part and it just hit me... growing up in my situation I longed for my mother's love... it was even worst that she was a single parent and I didn't know my dad so I longed for love... now being married I love hard.. smh makes total sense now.. Ekk

Same, I have this same feeling with my mother. She grew up in the 70's in an immigrant household where daughters weren't appreciated and was disowned at 22 when she married my father. I feel that people can choose how to approach their trauma. They can either turn out to be a narcissist who continues their cycle of abuse on others, or they can become an empath who breaks the cycle and radiates love to others. My mother hid her trauma from us and created a loving home for us and for that I am forever grateful. (sorry for the long reply)

Sad to admit, but that's not true. There is also the other side. I know people from my personal circle who have missed so much love. And who now, as adults, act like big babies at the slightest quarrel. Who throw so much malice at the people around them. Seeing them demanding love but not knowing the meaning of "giving love" themselves.

That’s nice to hear! Although my dads the opposite lol

Same with my father! My grandfather had passed when I was young, and he speaks respectfully of him, however doesn't hold back that his childhood relationship with him was very cold and they didn't really have much of one until he was grown. However, my dad is the most loving man I have met. He had always been so gentle to me as a child and I was surprised to learn how he had grown up being treated by his dad. Though I do have to say that he has said that my grandmother had enough love to give for the both of them. ❤️ Hugs to everyone impacted by a strained relationship with a caregiver, it's a real tough one.

Watch her interview with Trevor Noah. Whether you're a fan or not, the interview is brilliant.

Dud berrymore has been acting for like 4 decades. Was this really your first experiemce with her?

@jg pliskin 😂

@jg pliskin Aside from seeing her in movies, yes.

@Fozzie Bean what's your favorite drew-vie?

This really hit hard, I had a very difficult relationship with my mom, the mother daughter love seemed very one sided mostly my side it seemed. She never hit me but the constant emotional abuse was just so heartbreaking, I didn't know what I did to deserve her treating me like she did. 😔

I really appreciated the very raw dialogue and genuine questions and answers - so healing.

Yes! This was riveting to me. When Drew said something to the effect of wanting a relationship with your mother that not even society says you should have but that NATURE tells you should have blew my mind. I have always longed for that kind of relationship with my mother and a therapist said to me a few years ago that I need to start accepting that that relationship may never happen. These women having this particular conversation moved me today. Wow.

I feel you all. When Drew said she felt the need to protect her mother it struck me cause I think a lot of people continue to make excuses for their mother’s poor behavior when they don’t deserve that protection. For so long everyone thought my mom and I had a close and happy relationship even tho she was abusive on many levels. I never spoke about it until I got to my 20s and it was so freeing to do so. I have accepted that I will never have a positive relationship with my mom, and I no longer allow her to destroy my life just because I feel like I owe her for giving birth to me. Self-mothering and building strong bonds with other women in my life has helped to fill that void. It’s a journey, and i’m sending a big warm hug to anyone who needs it 💞

My grandmother physically and verbally abused me that I almost killed her when I was older. But thankfully I'm free being independent and trying to build a relationship with my estranged mom(her daughter) who she verbally abused

Same ❤️

Facts

Me too! But, though I struggled with the relationship with my mom, I too thought that she would never change. She recognized her own behavior as toxic, and that it stemmed from her own childhood abuse, would admit her own faults, and actively sought therapy for her issues, and tried like hell to work on herself. Even though she did back-slide several times, and many times she didn't know if she could change, have a different mindset and truly be the kind of person, she's always wanted to be. She started her journey of healing in her late 20's, when she was able to understand that she had trauma from the abuse she suffered in her childhood and was also physically abusing her own children, because she wasn't shown another way of disciplining. But she knew deep down that, hitting her children with a belt every time we misbehaved, was absolutely WRONG! It's taken years and years to unpack all that baggage! She's 64 now, has 4 adult children, 9 grandchildren, 2 cats, 2 dogs, and a husband who loves her in every way possible! She's finally able to know, understand and love the amazing person SHE truly IS! Yes, she's been damaged. Yes, she's messed up a lot, made wrong choices, but that's NOT who she is, but what she'd done. It took her a long time to come to know, understand and love the person she is. and she's still working on herself every single day..... I'm so proud of her! She not only saved her own life, but all of ours too! I have no idea how our family's lives would be right now, had she never taken those first few steps towards unlocking her potential.... I'm just so grateful she did!

Omg this!!!! My dad always says "your mother will never change so you have to." I always thought that was unfair

I tried to set boundaries with my mom and she ignored them. So now we don’t have a relationship. My mental health is more important.