Case Study: Narcissism and Snapping | When the Narcissist Loses Control 

Right I get the whole what's wrong, why you upset..... surely you couldn't still be upset over me yelling at you two days ago....it's like they don't fully remember what they do or have done....

@Stephanie Carrington it must feel like they are going crazy. knowing they cant control what comes out of there mouths/brains when stressed/anxious, and knowing they cant control their true morals/beliefs.

@Stephanie Carrington However, remember vividly anytime that they perceived this from your part.

@JRod right every time it seems they can remember your screw ups constantly but constantly have brain facts regarding theirs.

@Stephanie CarringtonDealing with this now with a sibling 🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️

YOU are speaking nothing but the TRUTH!💯♥️

Exactly right. Hurting others is nothing, but even a tiny offense to them requires immediate revenge.

They’re so unfair: Vindictive, unyielding judgmental yet they can let it all hang out but must be tolerated, accepted and relentlessly forgiven.

@Francesca A FACT!!

So correct! I dated one recently. I wasn't allowed to have any normal expectations of him. If I tried to work out even the smallest issues he would get upset and say" I'm not fighting with you". I never raised my voice once with him. Very draining.

Her "soul review"😅.. I like that.

Wow- that’s powerful. I’m so glad that you turned out “normal” (whatever that is 😉)

It's scary to have such a narcissistic mother. Cudos to you for not turning out like her.

Oh yes, I saw that one day, the perpetrator nearly shot themselves because they had exposed their behaviour, not realising someone was watching, I have never seen that look of COLD REALISATION before, I believe the Devil was looking at me!👿 A very ugly, perverted, psycho, female, deadly!

@Janette Coleman It's scary when it happens. Their face turns into a demon's face. Pure evil.

Very, Very Scary!!!

Yep. The TRUE person comes out.

Sarah Kelly 💗

From my experience, my ex was a screaming, intimidating interrogator who did not care what your answers were. He would answer for you. He would actually say the words " so you're telling me that you think I'm garbage?" When I hadn't said a word. Even if I pointed out I wasn't even speaking he would continue on with his raging interrogation. Now looking back, I realize that all the rages and interrogating was to instill fear & gain control as he felt completely out of control... what I mean by out of control for him, I mean that he would feel he was losing his grip on controlling situations and people including me. He needed to control everything that was going on at all times. His thoughts were definitely was out of control. He would say he had no control over himself but I think he did. I think it was selective control. I witnessed it many times. In the middle of the worst rage, he could morph into a reasonable sounding person towards someone else. I think he believed that by saying he Lacked the ability to control himself, or he didn't 'remember' his rages, he wasn't responsible for criminal an abusive behavior.

Otie Jason what do you mean you snap? I'm not sure why you said you wouldn't be considered a Narcissist. Do they call you a narcissist when you snap? There's snapping and there's SNAPPING. Some Ppl have anger issues and no, this does not make them a narcissist. Ppl who have witnessed a NPD individual's kind of snap discover it's a different off the charts kind of rage.

Well said. U have been thru it. It's weird and upsetting so much. ✌

Excellent way to put it! Simply crazy and horrifying at the same time!

@Kathy Jenkins Yup. People like this are scary.

Absolutely.

Yep ,or you have the higher ups that cant or wont put a shock collar on these jerks,or better yet fire em or at least not expose humans to them.

What experience do you have in the high levels of sufficiently numerous corporations to comprise a sample? Oh, none?

Because narcissists have leadership qualities.

@Really Happenings Everyone is aware of it because of the legal issues they cause by their behavior.

"Stand up and salute him" That's hilarious! Very lucky for you to have a narcissist prove that they aren't worth being around and then pushing you away. Sayonara!

Oh my 🤣🤣🤣he was wayyyy too much. Not salute him and get my things and leave. Girl, that’s the best thing he told you to do was leave cause baby that was definitely what needed to be done.

I would have given him a ONE finger salute and happily left and blocked them on every venue

Wait, I need to know, did he beg you to return?

@Artistic Dreamer And they always threaten their new victim, ahem, I mean love interest, with returning to you because you truly loved and respected them. Yes, it seems their only dialogue with people is designed to hurt them.

So great to know!! They go to extremes - my association with a Narcissist led to three attempts to strangle me. Finally, thank Holy God above, I began to file divorce proceedings, and it saved my life! Some years after, this hideous man confided to an old family friend, who told me, that he never should have agreed to a divorce, and burst out in tears, much weeping. Was this true regret, or was he just sorry, or was he regretting his agreement to the divorce because it meant he couldn't abuse me anymore!? Unfortunately, I'll never know. And that's perfectly okay!!! He may have regret, but all I have is glorious joy that I finally - got away!!!

@Nancy Ayers I completely understand the feeling! Congratulations on it and much success.

@Nancy Ayers "Holy God above" watched as a man you loved and trusted put his hands around your throat and tried to squeeze the life out of you. This god of yours betrayed you three times. This god did nothing but let you be abused. God can do everything, sees all, knows all, has a plan, according to believers. So easy for him to have simply never allow you to meet your abuser in the first place. You were tortured and suffered trauma. For what? Thank yourself for finally getting away. Give credit where credit is due. This sounds like one god I'd never put my trust in. You naively trust men just as you naively trust this father figure you call god. What kind of father would let his daughter go through that? Life is too precious. Our psyches are fragile. Yet, this god allows innocent and vulnerable people to be hurt as we speak. The violence and terror it creates will continue like it always has, causing lasting scars. Maybe it's time to open your eyes and expand your mind, ask questions, spot red flags, learn how to not give your dignity away to male authority figures. God didn't point out any red flags this time. He won't be looking out for you next time, either. You must do this for yourself. And then, you can protect yourself.

Ive seen it. When a narcissist collapses.......its pretty damn scary. Mine delved into addiction and unbridled sexually deviant behavior.

Deb T I am sorry to hear about your fathers behaviour, I hope you now have found peace and living your best life ❤️❤️

Glad he is gone! Try to live a happy life now. Get the help if needed.

Well I have to disagree, and did, when you said your narcissist was "sneaky." It's been my experience that a narcissist is EVER sneaking around. Mine was vicious and "in your face" all the time. I knew exactly how much he seemed to utterly despise me every single day.

I have never regretted my "producers" dying!👿😈

Because narcissists are manipulative and look good on paper from a recruitment standpoint. They also produce short term results that make the company look good (over long term pain of anybody working under them). And most HR departments probably do not have training to identify narcissists.

During my entire life as an employed clinician only once did I have a "superior" who did *not* turn out to be a bully. Since I put a stop to that (I've run my private practice for 15 years now) the only bullies are GPs and health care authority bosses. For the first time in my life I've been able to go about my clinical work unharassed! That's the state of affairs.

it happened to me, a new collegue I had never met talked to me as literal shit on the phone, at first I tried "hey we don't know each other , I'm AL" he answered "oh... I see" and continued yaling at me over something he did'nt know shit about (I 've been doing that job for ten years) I tried to explain why I did my job as it was supposed to be done, got tired of the verbal abuse and told him that I would'nt take it and he had to adress me politely, he snaped and came at me threatening to hit me in front of everyone , he had to be stoped physically by my other collegues. So I filed a complaint . Then he retaliated and accused me of having said something that put him in this state of rage (I still don't know what, but I think his accusations were pretty serious), fortunately my company records phonecalls. YET he got nothing, no blame , no firing , nothing and I was told that something in the tone of my voice must have triggered the violence. He got promoted a few month later on a position I had applied for.

@Backintime Alwyn This is why people need to document and whistleblow.

YaY...moving forward

my step dad was same

So very proud of you, seeing you put that "ex" in the conversation is so refreshing. Keep loving you, and keep growing strong.

Lol no he wasn’t.

Try 9....I'm walking away.

You're fortunate in that your father passed just days after the confrontation, not giving him any opportunity to write you out of his will. At the moment I am working with a therapist through all the harm my NPD dad has done to me (severe beatings when I was a little girl, financial abuse, telling me + my sister "You're never going to amount to anything", NO EMPATHY, EVER...) even though I managed to move to Paris to work as a journalist and been gone nearly 20 years now. He's in COVID-ridden Florida, age 80 and playing the "poor me" and guilting me for being so far away. Well, if he ever did anything nice when I was in the States, I might still be there. A lot of old troubles (long swept under the rug) are coming to the surface due to this virus. I'm sure he would retaliate if I ever confronted him. So used to the RAGE attacks he's been enabled his entire life and my sister is a covert Narc always taking his side despite the abuse.

@Fire Horse I'm sorry this happened to you. I'm glad you're happy and safe now.🌞

Why is that?

@Really Happenings because narcissistic abusers frequently walk free by exploiting the justice system and there is little to no recompense for their victims

Law enforcement definitely needs psychology training and extensive study in human behavior and disorders. They also need to be screened themselves. We need reform in law enforcement desperately.

Law enforcement...funny. The people you go to for protection have a license to kill and get away with it.

Absolutely.

An hour?!?! Jeez, youre lucky!!! My narc ex would rant & rail for days!! My favorite part; the property destruction & vandalism of HER OWN CRAP!! 🤣🤣 Then of course the next 3 fights were "why did you make me kick my grandma's china cabinet?" 🤣🤣 Professional or otherwise avoidance of these types is the only way...

So true. My grandiose narc neighbour snapped at me when I had some workers in my home replacing my kitchen. Legally, in my county in the UK workers can start work from 7am and work until 8pm. My workers worked from 8am until 4pm, which I thought was very considerate and reasonable. I live in a detached house and therefore my neighbours on either side should not have been too inconvenienced but I let them know in advance that the work would be taking place and what time provisions were agreed. I also asked them to let me know if there were any problems that impacted upon them. So imagine my shock at hearing a thumping/banging on my front door at 8am on day 3 of a 10 day project, only to open it to find my grandiose narc neighbour shouting in my face. Yelling at me. Name calling. Shouting what an inconsiderate bitch I was, how selfish to be making such noise. His eyes were bulging. His face was red. He was incandescent with rage. I could see the muscles in his neck bulging. His face was the picture of animalistic hostility. His whole body language was threatening. He waved his fist in the direction of my face causing me to step back. I was terrified. I’m a 5’2” petite lady. I’m also a widow who lives alone. He is a 6’ muscular keep fit man. And yet in that moment he became a monster. Amazingly, I kept my cool. I’m a retired mental health nurse so I knew it was important to de-escalate the situation, so shouting back was out of the question. In a split second I responded with a calm, soft voice, saying that I needed him to calm down. He couldn’t hear me because of the rage, so I had to keep repeating in the same tone that I needed him to leave my property. I went stuck record in the same softly spoke, non threatening tone, open body language, ‘please leave, I need you to leave my property, I don’t like it when you yell at me, please go.” After a few minutes it was like a switch flipped in his brain. He shook himself out of his rage. It was as if he had suddenly woken up and realised where he was and what he was doing. He turned and left, not in an angry way but in a more self controlled way. I’ve seen this many times in my experience as a mental health nurse. When someone is in the grip of rage they cannot hear you, but once they’ve come out of the rage they gain control of their senses. After he had gone I turned to find two very concerned workers watching and listening. Both were concerned enough to sit me down and make me a cup of tea. We all reflected on what happened and I’ll never forget the words of one of them. He said that he’d downed tools and come running to see what was going on, and when he saw my neighbour in that rage, he positioned himself ready to pounce on him and grab him because he really thought my neighbour was going to hit me. When he asked me why I didn’t shout at him or slam the door in his face, I told them both about my mental health experiences and that my neighbour would have reacted to either of those approaches with an escalation of further aggression. Inwardly I reflected that if such an incident had happened in my practice as a nurse, I would have pressed the silent security alarm button and awaited help from my team. And if such a person as my neighbour had been a patient of mine, I would have amended the risk assessment to indicate no lone working with him. To this day he has not spoken with me and nor has he apologised. I know from neighbour gossip that he blames me, saying that I caused him to lose his temper that day, that it was all my fault. Such is his incapacity to look at his own behaviour and how dangerous it is. I have also spoken with his wife and it appears that she was too scared to interfere that day and she said that he was not the type of man who would ever apologise and she wondered if I could find it in myself to forgive him. I said no, because by the time that I had this conversation I’d gleaned further information from neighbours about this man’s character, and it seems that he has a history of snapping and becoming violent towards others. He’s beaten up his own brother in the road, apparently outside of the front of my house. Don’t know where I was that day but I didn’t witness this. As a result, everyone walks on eggshells around him. When narcissists snap they are truly dangerous people. Very, very dangerous people.

@Ruth Jones I think thats a prime example of this personality. But you must experience it first hand. It's truly Baptism by Fire !!!! The entitlement is repulsive!!!!

@Ruth Jones - I'm glad you have the training to effectively deal with your raging neighbor. I'm also glad you had people in your home that day to potentially come to protect you if the situation got out of hand. I had a similar experience with one of my neighbors last year, which was very frightening, especially since it was the first time I'd ever seen that side of the person. In my case, I think he was not sharing only his opinion but his wife's as well (I'm guessing she may be a covert narc from my encounters with her). I refuse to speak to the family anymore because I have the feeling that anything I say or do will be negativity twisted by them if the spirit moves them. In other words, I've become their scapegoat. I guess what I'm saying is please be cautious of the entire family as you never know what's really going on.

J. Mig simple training or bringing in trainers on the subject, would be a wise investment.

As a hiring manager, I hope you use the things you learn from this channel to avoid hiring narcs. Too many of 'em in corporate settings.

Stop giving them promotions. Only give promotions to people who are not that aggressive about getting promoted.

Sadly, I found myself working for a narcissistic HR manager, so HR was of absolutely no help to me- senior management in the organization simply protected her. When I tried to report on her behaviour, she retaliated by smearing my reputation with my peers and her seniors, so that I was viewed as untrustworthy. It was devastating for me and my family. Senior management was totally blind to/in denial of the fact that she was a narcissist and was abusing, exploiting and lying to all of her staff (not just me). I chose early retirement to get away. Two years later, senior management finally pushed her out the door but not before she destroyed the entire work unit. There needs to be effective screening to avoid hiring and promoting those with strong narcissistic traits. These people promote a dysfunctional culture that is highly toxic. Left unchecked, they most certainly will destroy an entire organization.

Oh yes! I ended up with a very toxic narc co-worker, but since she was the boss' "yes" person, and he was making $$$, even HR told me if I didn't like it I could leave. I did, and have been making half the money ever since, but no amount of money is worth my mental health. I did leave her a secret letter in her desk. I learned from the narcs previously.....so I got my satisfaction. Even though I know it won't change her, it satisfied ME to tell her that a demon or more than one inhabits her soul.

@Lula Mae - Wow, that quote is just exploding with entitlement! Its still shocking, to me, even with understanding. Just my opinion, but that quote is almost as insane as, say, someone pointing at a cloud and yelling “it’s a giant bunny rabbit in the sky, RUN!!!” and meant it. They are both breaks with reality if she was serious, though in rather different ways. Even if she was just “being dramatic”, she’s basically loudly declaring “I’m a really loathsome person!”, which isn’t normal.

Western culture caters to the demented ghouls.

You are sooooo right!

Is that true? I hope not. Sam Vaknin, a narcissist and educator on the disorder, says that society is becoming more narcissistic. But what does that mean? I could see people not caring anymore and shutting down their empathy, but wouldn't their natural conscience kick in and logic too? Narcissists seem to loose all logic. They can't reason because they are more concerned with their superiority complex (delusion) and not being wrong. So all logic goes out the window. Will people really loose their minds like that by practicing evil? Hahaha! I hope not. Like I said, I hope their natural and correct working brain makes their conscience kick in.

And besides didn't Dr. Grande just say that a normal person could be reasoned with unlike the narcissist? Yeah. They still don't know what makes a narcissist. I think that they are born with it. It's a delusion isn't it? They're in their own little world of superiority belief. That's not what normal people do. I think it's a brain malfunction.

Kilnmaster I did, it was my opinion. Thanks for your input, though!

Super scsry

@Noname Yeah, I have to admit, it was.

The supervisor was behind the bullying, I just about guarantee it! She came out and pretty much admitted it. Probably angry in her narcissistic way that you had not "obliged" her by quitting already.

I can relate, several family members burned me to the police like that :(.

Yep. This stuff exists

I hope you heal

It is not uncommon for narcissists to end up in power positions. specially in a system that rewards heartless competition and disregard for the ones around you to get your way as a positive ambitious quality .

Showing narcissistic traits, & having NPD are two very different things. Everyone will show narcassist tendencies at one point or another.

American Made Of course. But no one could possibly determine whether that manager is likely to have NPD based on so little info. But it’s obvious that the management team at that company had a culture of narcissism. For instance, they only stepped in to promote the abused female employee when they knew she had fantastic grounds for a sexual harassment suit.

being dismissive, as managers often are, doesn't make you a narc.

Jack M. Of course not. I never said it did. But dismissing serious accusations is still very selfish on the part of a manager. A single narcissistic behavior episode doesn’t mean that person has NPD. But, a management atmosphere like this one where narcissistic behavior is tolerated as the norm is overwhelmingly likely to have at least a few NPD people in strategic places.

This is beginning to be tiresome. 'Narcissist ' is the newest in a long line of labels medicalising bad behaviour. Years ago they wer 'Socioplaths' , prior to that 'Psycopath'. Eveyone is an amateur osychiatrist and even the professional certified psychiatrists argue about labels which are decided by committee. Some people tell lies and steal . Some people tell lies for personal gain e.g. Promotion.

Having no empathy should concern everyone. This is not only about lying to get things, ignoring the narc could cost you your life. Just call me, "been there, done that".

You should protect the victim before they harm themselves as a result in the end. That is beyond cruel to do that to someone you apparently love.

My theory is that victim narcissist actually believe they are the victim. They’re still manipulative but I believe they justify their manipulative tactics because they believe they are the Victim of the situation.

I rather think its inherited.

My family too

Yes sir I know one exactly like that. Always the victim typical manipulation tactic. That's the covert narc i endured. The narc got me the same way. I ended it the only way I thought wood work. After I exposed the narc bigtime

BINGO

I think it's happened in the comments already... Ok not a snap, but overly strong reactions just to what people are posting. PROJECTION.

@Terra Hill Yes -- as with my boss/narcisscyst, the snapping can be made subtle, paced, and measured, as in snarky comments to legitimate concerns.

Narcissists especially tend to view others through the lens of their own Shadow. But it's common among others, too. Projection takes many forms.

That didn't happen in my case: He SNAPPED because I REFUSED to do what he Wanted----- I REFUSED to leave with him... He went into a full-blown RAGE HURT ME

Good. That he lost control over u.

He did not " lose control". He never had it in the first place. They are just like children, they dont have impuls controll. And they belive that they are in controll of reality and other peoples minds and emotions. Even when what they do and say is fucking crazy ( it most often is). Real control is to have emotions and to control how we react to them. The narcissist dont have this control. When they act like a spoild child they blame you for their actions. And when they get triggerd they blame the reaction on the world. In reality they have zero control. In they`re mind it`s your mind and emotions that is the " real reality". Thats why they are so desperat to controll and manipulate you. When you realize this part and sett firm boundarys you see how desperat and patetic they are

There is a major difference: narcissists crave and must have the esteem of other people, but sociopaths have no desire for social approval.

From what I understand they can often overlap, but as previously mentioned.. sociopaths have to fake their emotional reactions, narcissists "snap"... I believe I had one in my life that had traits of both.

There is overlapping definitely. In my opinion, simply because many of the actions/behaviors are based in selfishness.

All people with antisocial pd are narcissists but not all narcissists are antisocial.

I think it is because the narcissist will keep arguing and fighting until they win because they love that. So it is much easier to deal with other people who are more rational so they move the people who are 'easier' to deal with which doesn't solve the problem but just gets it off the top of the list for a moment.

it starts in school. schools give bullies wayyy too much leeway to "be themselves" or worse yet the most useless response of all "we can't change human nature"

Jeanette Waverly I have found HR policy to be: “This is the first I’ve heard!!” with arms raised in alarm. They ignore until it blows up!!! Most HR are incompetent. They do what the highest pay grade in the building wants or the most feared politically. It took decades to finally remove a manager that harassed, groped or assaulted women in the company. And even then he got his full pension.

@jollyandwaylo It's also the psychopathy and how they go about setting up people to fall who don't kiss their butts in addition to what they do to the people whose jobs they want.

Yup! Because those "Jim's" usually bring in the most profits. It's (unfortunately) all about the Buck 🤫🤑

That's because they build you up with "love bombing" just to tear you down with triangulation (cheating or comparison), or playing on your humanity by making you feel guilty they are the way they are by saying nasty things about your good points, "sorry, I'm not educated like you are, you're always right and I'm wrong, they start treating you like they want you when it's just sex and as much as they can get and they turn away from you if you assert yourself in bed because YOU are in the mood to make love as a bonding experience.

OMG, yes. They thrive in an environment where others are kept confused. It's what makes *them* feel calm and stable themselves.

@Melcontent Humanoid It is all about control...

The charm, then the lies, you’re destroyed.

It's like living in a pinball machine, being slammed around with no escape.

I’ve watched dozens of videos. What is “regulatory object.” It sounds like the person they use to regulate their emotions. I could certainly relate to that!

Kelly Boy Yes. They hate themselves so much they project it onto other people, particularly those that provide them supply by becoming upset.

Well thats why you need to try and fix being a "FIXER". THEY LOVE FIXERS. They can always be FULL in every way narcissist with the fixer.

WHY NOT? Good point.

WHY NOT? 100% I have an appointment with a therapist tomorrow. He’s going to ask me what my goals are in therapy and that’s exactly what I’m going to tell him. I am an animal rescuer and a True Empath. Finally, I am concerned about MYSELF.

That's difficult to say the least. My partner had a similar relationship with her mother and finally had to go no contact. I wish you well. Take care.

Every human being has a potential to snap. This isn't a specifier for narcissism.

@Mrs. Reluctant No but they do and that's not the only narc term people have been using/accusing me of, as I said. I can't even count how many people have accused me of "lashing out" in response to their abuse - none of which was "lashing out", it was straightforward asking for explanations and speaking the truth about THEIR behaviour. Naturally I was angry, AM angry, but not "raging". I was responding to others' inappropriate hostility and accusations. Some I haven't even seen for 30 years but my dear mom is facebook friends with them.

Sounds familiar... in my experience exposing the truth just opens you up as a target, they aren’t ever going to accept that they are the problem. As long as you are saying things they don’t like, YOU are the problem. I don’t see how you can win 😔

They don't seem to give a shit who sees or hears, then still expect to be treated " normally"

Kathy Wedzik yes, I am aware and have studied these individuals to the core. Now, I am teaching others. He usually fled my apartment... maybe deep down he knew, if he didn't run away out of my apartment when he was raging, he'd hurt me or even kill me. He had a notion of self-control there. But it was scary regardless.

@PAULA O Why have u not involved law Enforcement?

J. Damn you are funny. You do not know the whole picture. I just gave you a glimpse. He was not just a covert narcissist; he had full-blown ASPD. It's alternating, depending who is around. Actually, I wrote a whole book about my experience and am helping others who find validation in it. I am not just throwing terms around and don't know what they mean. Unfortunately, it has become a habit for many, so narcissistic abuse is not taken very seriously by others. The reason I point out his potential self-control was because we both work in the same industry, so he had to hide his abusive side to some other co-workers. So that was part of his covertly abusive side and flight response (I have a freeze response). I could not have shown up with bruises at work so to speak.

I left once for work and never looked back, didnt know both parents can be nuts like mine, irrationally controling behavior and interogations , scary, wtf mom want to brake in your home, they think you are helpless baby and world is full of predators

He has already done! Go to his Playlists and look for 'Mental Disorder Case Studies'. Good luck 😃

Yes, and I often think management like it that way. They can lose senior employees, so the company pays less for medical insurance, and compensation. Also, some managers erroneously believe they will get more out of workers by pitting them against each other. It's really a stupid, short sighted assumption, but very common to see in businesses.

Managers are almost never rated for subordinate turnover, consequently they can force good employees out for years, with HR none the wiser. Eventually, disaster strikes when they fire, in a rit of fealous jage, the one person who has real understanding of how the department functions.

@J Guenther That is a spot on observation.

my husband had a narc manager once.. he died suddenly for no reason it was odd.. God's punishment? He fired everyone.. eventually even my hubby (hubby just took a position in a different dept. but it was scary not knowing how long he would be out of work but God provided a way).. anyways his boss was always so angry!! made hubby work 12 hours a day!! He was so tired and sad.. we had three little boys at the time. We prayed for him and even sent him cards to hospital.. it is truly sad no one knows why he was so angry.

Just left a job because of this exact issue

88Gibson LesPaul I worked in a Union setting with a dude who had major behavior problems and bedeviled the whole office with them. I can't say for sure they were Narcissist behaviors, but they were no fun to deal with. My union couldn't help me because they didn't involved themselves with disputes between workers of equal rank... or so they said. If the problem person had been in Management, they might have tried. I'm still in favor of unionized work forces, though. Having someone you can vent to safely about such problems (and having them on record in case the problem person's behavior escalates later on) is still better than nothing at all.

88Gibson LesPaul Totally agreed. :)

Handle the narcissist privately.

Frankiejean Exactly, they use a sort bizarre ambiguity when they mess with people to where when you explain it to someone else, they want to give the narc the benefit of the doubt because what you describe is of course, crazy sounding. Glad I was raised by one of these types, I got the crash course growing up lol.

It can be. They often have sly ways of disrupting things.

I agree. I was married to one. He was nice on the outside, but did tons of things behind my back that were extremely inappropriate for a marital situation, if you get my drift. When I was made aware of the depth of the situation, he devalued me then dumped me. Interesting scenario. I am glad to be out of the situation but I am realizing that I need more time to heal. They are very deceitful people.

Good for you. You’re not missing anything. They love bomb everyone, devalue anyone who doesn’t validate their delusions, and if you don’t come around after that, they’ll do a major discard. They do all this utilizing their flying monkeys (the people who di buy into their delusions). But there’s one more interesting thing. If you still don’t buy into their delusions after the final discard, they come back (hoover) and start the whole process all over again. Like a gerbil on a wheel. Love bomb-devalue-discard. It’s all they know. This pattern wears the victim down.

We do live in a shady country. USA = under scrutiny always. especially now, other countries don't want to deal with us, because of the gaslighting psychopath.

Out of fear of getting fired!

You are good! POW

Empathy, communication and respect.

A good start is to read up on emotional intelligence. Healthy starts with treating others as you want to be treated and all that implies. Its not easy to see ourselves as others see us. To be able to step back and look at yourself is very difficult for many.

Oh my...

I am so glad that you are safe!!!

That was very brave of you. Hope you are living a much happier life now.

@Jeanne Braun Praise the Lord, I am blessed.